Ever since the amount of closet space available to me unexpectedly doubled, I’ve been jonesing to get to IKEA and stock up on wood hangers. Don’t know why, but I’ve always dreamed of the day when I could have all wood hangers for my clothing… I suppose it’s just another example of my genetic predisposition toward anality that this would, in fact, qualify as a dream…
At any rate, schlepping home 80 hangers on BART was unappealing, so I rented a car yesterday – the always-classy-and-elegant PT Cruiser (I think the PT stands for “Pretty Tragic”). I checked in with my mom to see if she wanted in (an enthusiastic “yes!”) and off we went to IKEA. Started our day with $1.99 IKEA breakfast (price-to-value ratio about even…). And since I had a car, why not do some other shopping that’s difficult to do via Muni or taxi? After additional stops at Safeway, Pet Food Express, BevMo! and Bed, Bath and Beyond, my haul for the day was as follows:
80 wooden hangers
48 double rolls toilet paper
12 rolls paper towels
2 1/2 gallons laundry detergent
1/2 gallon window cleaner
20 lbs. cat food
150 lbs. cat litter (yes, 150)
1/2 gallon Maker’s Mark
1/2 gallon Ketel One
6 bottles wine
1 bottle Lillet Blanc
1 laundry basket
1 clothes drying rack
Oh, and that doesn’t include mom’s own TP and liquor purchases… And can I just say how extremely satisfying this shopping expedition was? I’m thinking I’m set for at least the next six months… Well, except for the booze, which’ll probably just see me through to next weekend…
I spent Saturday afternoon switching out the hangers in my closet. And I’m likely to spend most of Sunday just sitting and gazing at my new all-wood-hanger closet with a look of smug satisfaction on my face… Feel free to join me!
In front of the Vdara, a kind of amazing sculpture made of canoes. That's Aria in the background.
Tina arrived without incident on Monday evening. We had a dinner at Lemongrass at the Aria – it was quite surprisingly tasty and reasonably priced… Really as good as Thai food I’m used to getting here in SF. Then, on to the Aria blackjack tables… I’ve played before, but Tina is a big fan of the game… And now, so am I. It was really a lot of fun and we did OK. Wandered over to New York, New York so I could get my slot machine fix – and had a not-very-good time. Was there for half-an-hour and the same cocktail waitress passed by at least six times – but wouldn’t get me a drink because I wasn’t in her section… Apparently, my section didn’t have a waitress, since I never got a drink, despite pumping money into that machine for the entire 30 minutes. I was so parched, that I actually purchased a Bud Light on my way out of the joint – for $6.50! Needless to say, I’ll not be revisiting this casino…
The original plan was to check out the gay dance club – but since we are old (me far more so) and tired, we decided to simply call it a night…
Tina, waiting for noodles...
Spent Tuesday doing a little shopping and then back to the hotel for some spa time before dinner at Caesar’s palace. The last time I was in Caesar’s was at least eight years ago and I recall it being tackily opulent or opulently tacky… Really seemed dated and faux deluxe. My how things have changed – the Roman theme remains over the top, but the place is pretty darn luxurious and tasteful (by Las Vegas standards, that is). We ate at Beijing Noodle No. 9 for noodles (duh) and dim sum. Again, I was surprised at how good it was… Vegas has really come a long way when it comes to food options, even for less expensive places like this.
Bette Midler at 7:30. The show was pretty great – an old-fashioned song-and-dance review with chorus girls, the Harlettes and Miss M’s semi-raunchy patter and a still-amazing voice (not to mention that she was actually singing as opposed to lip synching). Of course, given that when I originally bought these tickets, I thought I’d be going with someone else, there was a bittersweet quality to the show (both Tina and I were all weepy after “The Rose”). But I was so very happy to be there and enjoying it with my dear friend…
Fishy-wishy!
Back to Aria for more blackjack. Had a great table with a couple of really good and friendly dealers and some fun dudes from Orlando playing along with us. I actually did pretty well – and would have been up by a good amount had I returned to our room at midnight with Tina. Instead, I felt it wise to continue playing (and drinking) until 3AM. You can imagine how well that worked out… I will say however that the couple hundred bucks I had in my pocket when I arrived on Sunday got me through the entire trip, including meals, gambling and taxi fare… Not too bad…
What was bad was the intensity of my hangover the following day, combined with a mild case of tuberculosis I’d seemed to have picked up. Made the prospect of boarding an airplane not so appealing… But despite an hour delay, all went relatively smoothly and I was back home in SF, sitting in my oxygen tent in front of the TV by 4PM. Vegas is definitely a weird place – but it was sure a lot of fun. Hoping to plan another trip soon, next time to see another gay icon at the Colosseum – Cher.
Prior to an enjoyable hour or so spent at the $10 minimum blackjack table at Aria last night with Tina, I had to use the john… And just down the row of urinals from me were a couple of 20-something dude types, talking and joking about various bodily functions – as 20-something dudes do…
At any rate, I hear one of them cart out that oldest of standing-in-front-of-the-urinal jokes ever, advising his confrere: “Dude, careful, the water’s cold.”
And me being me, I couldn’t resist piping up with, “And deep, too…”
The first dude had a good laugh (and amazingly had never heard that old chestnut) – but he did have to explain it to his buddy…
Today was pretty low key… Late breakfast at the Bellagio coffee shop before deciding to check out Ben Sherman store again. Good thing I did – apparently I wasn’t paying very close attention the first time as I managed to overlook the half-dozen shirts, a sweater and jacket now in my possession… And all at 50% off markdown – yes, off markdown!
Then I walked approximately 47 miles (Las Vegas is not designed for pedestrians) to Walgreens to stock up on electrolyte-enhanced water (between the dry desert air and the copious amounts of liquor I’ve consumed, I feel a bit dehydrated…) and snacks. Then, after a little lie-down, I decided to take advantage of my hotel’s gym facilities and completed a full work-out. Place all to myself save for the last ten minutes – really nice way to go to the gym…
For a small extra fee, was able to use the Vdara spa facilities too: showers, sauna, steam and hot plunge. The place is smallish and feels very intimate. Lots of aqua glass and caramel-colored wood… And let me tell you it was freakin’ heavenly… I had the entire place to myself for my whole visit (well, except for foxy Bruno the spa dude who showed me to my locker…). The sauna was impeccable. The steam room was the the steamiest I’ve ever been in (I mean that in the literal sense: their were copious amounts of steam) and fragrant with eucalyptus (not with mildew like most steam rooms). And the showers are huge and stocked with Aveda products. It was really a perfect cap to my quiet day and I feel like a million bucks…
My friend Tina arrives at LAS shortly… Then it’s off to dinner, gambling and general mayhem… Life is good.
Flight in on Virgin was notable only for it’s annoyingness. Some teenager with Napoleonic tendencies and the mind of a bureaucrat wouldn’t allow me to bring my one carry-on bag onto the plane – despite pointing out that I had carried-on this exact same bag on this exact same airline using the exact same aircraft. No dice. So, I had to unpack all the non-checkables (Bette Midler tix, computer, life-preserving medications) and juggle them in my arms along with the giant hardbound novel I was already carrying, as I cursed my way down the jetway. The overhead bins on the plane were, of course, filled with bags identical in size to my own…
Lucky for me, though, when the chief FA asked how I was doing, I told her not very well and explained why. She took care of it and got my bag (along with the three other bags that were marked for gate check) onto the aircraft. Would’ve been a very pleasant flight, too, if her colleague hadn’t refused to allow me to use the bathroom when her cart was adjacent to me. “We only have a certain amount of time to serve drinks.” Well, I only have a certain amount of time before I piss myself… Oh, and needless to say, in the time it would’ve taken me to get to the john and back, she was still in the exact same location in the aisle…
Anyhoo, through the airport and checked into Vdara. It’s quite nice. The rooms all have different layouts, and mine isn’t quite a nice as the one pictured online in terms of layout. But it is well-appointed with a great bathroom (I took two showers and a bath yesterday, just because I could – and housekeeping replaced all the many, many towels I’d used when they did turn-down service…)
Headed out to Ben Sherman, hoping for more sale stuff… And they were having the same sale as in SF, but it had all been picked over… I may go back today just to double-check. Wandered around the Planet Hollywood casino, won $50 and grabbed a sandwich and headed back to my hotel.
"Sex and the City" slots at Monte Carlo. Poor Scary Sadshaws!
Spent the rest of the afternoon checking out casino/hotels. Aria, the Vdara’s sister across the way is quite nice – even the casino is rather tasteful. But the slots seemed to be mostly penny slots or $1 slots – one too rich for my blood, the other too poor (who wants to win 10,000 pennies? Ugh.) Popped into Monte Carlo, which ate my money immediately without so much as a cocktail waitress showing up to offer me a watered-down cocktail. Au revoir, Monte Carlo!
Next door is New York, New York, one of the sort of medium-grade places. But I had good luck – choosing a Lucky 7 slot that paid me a $400 spin and a couple of others in the $100s. And I had a really nice cocktail waitress who ensured drinks arrived in a timely manner…
So now what? It’s only around 7PM – nightlife at the clubs doesn’t start until after midnight. A pit stop at my hotel to have a lie-down, then I headed to Casino Royale. I’d read somewhere that the more downscale casinos (and this one certainly is downscale by standards of the Strip – for example, their casino restaurant is a Subway sandwich shop) have looser slots. Now I don’t know if this is actually true, but I did walk out of their with $300 more than I’d gone in with.
I’d also heard that Outback Steakhouse has really good burgers – so I went. And the burger was, in fact, excellent. Too bad the fries were limp and mealy…
Why am I up at 8:30 in the morning? I didn't get home until 4... Jeez...
Then off to explore the gay bars… Yikes… Pretty pathetic. Of the two larger ones in the little gay area, one was closed and the other was playing Latin hip-hop or something… I also tried Krave, on the Strip… A bit livelier, but still yawn city – and crazy expensive. $5 for a Bud Light. A Bud Light! I didn’t stay long… But I spent a couple hours parked in front of another slot machine in the adjacent Planet Hollywood casino. I was up $150 when I left. Hope my luck holds out for the rest of the trip…
Two minute clip of Liza Minelli visiting her vocal coach… But the gem of this piece is the coach’s son, Nicholas, who does a perfect – PERFECT – impression of Miss Minelli (starts at about 1:30 if you want to skip forward)… I just hope he grows up to be a drag queen, an avocation in which that skill is highly valued… Seriously, I just love him…
As usual, the French are doing it right – this time by hanging the world’s largest disco ball over the Jardin du Luxembourg as part of the annual Nuit Blanche art fest (which I was lucky enough to attend several years ago).
What would be ideal is if they could fly this thing out to SF and install it permanently right over the intersection of 18th and Castro… A girl can dream, can’t she..?
OK, I realize no one is going to believe the lead-in to how I stumbled across this gem, but I swear it is true… So, I was video-chatting with my dad (seriously) and I could only see him, not hear him. I wanted to make sure there wasn’t a problem with my speakers or sound card – so I navigated to YouTube’s main page and just clicked on the first video I saw… And this was it… And it’s NSFW-ish… No actual naughty bits are exposed, but some awfully skimpy bikinis are modeled… Oh, and for the impatient among you, the good stuff (by which I mean “alarmingly bad stuff”) starts at 1:11…
Seriously, WTF? Umbrellas (and cheap-ass umbrellas at that)? Day-Glo headbands? Sexy dry-cleaning-bag ponchos? Oversized novelty glasses? Body bedazzling? And did I mention the cheap-ass umbrellas? And that the model’s name is “Mike Lay“? Dios mio…
The glossy lips and rouge are just freaking me out even more… And yet, he’s kind of adorable – especially in the intro before he’s all tarted-up and brollied… Anyhow, this was simply too good (by which I mean crazy) to not share… Enjoy!
Oh, and by the way… does anyone know where I can pick up a copy of HEY! magazine..? It’s for a friend…
I’ve seen numerous references both on TV and online to the “looting” going on in Haiti. And I have to say, it really pisses me off… Here’s a population that has just seen their city virtually destroyed; there is no water, electricity, food, phone service; bodies are piled in the streets; survivors are homeless and likely injured… And many are going into stores and taking things like food, pots and pans, fabric, clothing. “Looting”? Is that really what this is? It sounds more like “trying to stay alive.”
There’s a much better and more cogently written piece on this same thing at The Awl. I recommend it. And I agree with the use of the term “salvaging” to describe most of what is going on in Haiti…
The Shiba Inu puppy cam is back! One of the original pups has just delivered her own litter of five! And they are so fucking adorable I can’t stand it!
Had dinner with Marco last night at Chow. The plan was to meet at the Pilsner for a beer first… I arrived a few minutes early and observed that the crowd at the Pilsner was quite a bit more elderly than I recall – bringing to mind the venerable Twin Peaks bar in the Castro, known colloquially as the “Glass Coffin”. So I texted Marco, wondering “When did the Pilsner turn into the Twin Peaks?” To which he responded, “When you got there!” Ouch… though I did burst out laughing.
The thing about posts like the previous one on Haiti is that it can be difficult to segue right back into my usual snark and complaining… In this instance though, I was lucky enough to stumble across this pretty fantastic story…
Back in 1998, a 14-year-old aspiring cartoonist wrote a letter to Ren & Stimpy creator John Kricfalusi. The young man included a couple of his own drawings and indicated what a fan he was of Mr. Kricfalusi’s work…
Mr. Kricfalusi wrote back – in a way that is nothing short of amazing. Read it here. It’s great.
The news reports coming out of Haiti are shocking and grim… Please donate what you can. There are lots of great organizations out there that are already engaged in relief efforts to the Haitian people trying to survive this catastrophe. I sent my money to Doctors Without Borders, a fantastic organization. I hope you’ll join me…
Update: An article from the NYTimes about relief efforts in Haiti and the great difficulty of getting help to those who need it. I suspect the news will only grow worse in the coming days. Please do what you can to help.
I wrote this after my return from NYC in August 2009 and for some reason never got around to posting it… I think most everything still holds true – though SF is making some progress with the City’s bike plan.
At any rate, I must say, NYC and SF seem to have exchanged identities in the ten plus years since I last visited Manhattan. NYC used to be the scary, dirty, smelly city with peril on every block, while SF was a charming jewel of loveliness, an intimate metropolis of hills, fine restaurants and friendly people.
I was truly bowled over by the changes in Manhattan – despite it’s size and density, it feels absolutely people-focused. They’ve got bike lanes that are physically separated from auto traffic; they’re closing streets to autos to make them more pedestrian friendly; the streets are clean; the subway runs frequently and without incident.
Coming back to SF made me realize how little seems to be done right here: the City’s bike plan held up in the courts for years; streets are filthy; infrastructure is crumbling before our eyes; and the population of homeless and beggars on the streets is higher than ever.
Of course, I have mixed feelings about the two transformations. NYC’s “new look” is largely the result of over a decade of being run by autocratic Republican mayors who don’t really give a shit about opposing viewpoints. Giuliani is a horrible and corrupt individual – and he didn’t do anything to solve the problem of homelessness; he just made sure that the homeless were sufficiently harassed so as to get them to go elsewhere. But while I may disagree with these tactics, it’s hard not to find the results a vast improvement over the daily obstacle course of reeling drunks and crack-heads I encounter every day here in SF.
Broadway & 46th
Frankly, SF could use a little autocracy. Every good thing the City proposes doing (more bike lanes; closing Market St. to cars; Healthy San Francisco*) gets shot down because everybody has to get their two-cents in (which generally results in nothing getting done). We could learn a lesson from NYC: they shut down a section of Broadway to auto traffic, essentially on the mayor’s say-so. Here in SF, a tiny little dot of a pedestrian mall at the corner of Market and Castro raised howls among the local merchants – and remains populated with cardboard planters and other temporary fixtures to ensure it can be quickly swept away.
NYC bike lane: Look Ma, no broken elbow!
Despite the huge and vocal biking community (and near impossibility of finding parking), the car is still king in San Francisco. The Market/Octavia entrance to the freeway remains the city’s most dangerous for bikers – but it took months and months for even minor (and still not completely effective) changes to be made to inhibit illegal right turns. NYC has large bike lanes that are physically separated from cars, making it safer for both.
In SF, there was a huge hue-and-cry from Union St. merchants when Muni proposed making a bigger bus stop at Fillmore – which would’ve meant eliminating five metered parking spots. And Muni caved! Has anyone seen walked down Union St. lately? Whatever it is those merchants are doing appears to be wrong – so why are they setting public transit policy? Meanwhile, NYC manages to close down seven blocks to automobile traffic in the middle of Manhattan – but SF can’t build a bus stop?
SF is densely packed, for the most part – though not nearly so much as NYC. And I suppose this is part of what leads to the rampant NIMBY-ism in SF. All the rich hippies and limousine liberals are happy to vote “yes” on building homeless shelters or drug treatment facilities – but God forbid one gets built in their neighborhood. In NYC, there seems to be some recognition that everyone is living cheek-by-jowl anyhow – so what’s the big deal if there’s a methadone clinic a block away?
Of course, I still love SF. I think it beats NYC food-wise (both food shopping and restaurants) especially in terms of price-to-value ratio. And the housing market in NYC remains more insane than here… I may need to live in a rent-controlled, ghetto-adjacent apartment here – but the apartment is spacious and well-maintained. Such a combination is much harder to find in Manhattan – especially for monthly rental amount that doesn’t elicit the response “are you shitting me?”
Nonetheless, if I get the chance (i.e. win the lottery or Chris starts charging Sally-Hershberger-esque prices** I re-marry well), I’d give very serious thought to heading back to Manhattan permanently…
* This is a particular pet-peeve of mine. I think restaurants should be proscribed from adding a surcharge for the city-mandated health program. Just like with increased fuel prices or more expensive ingredients, merchants must build changes in their costs into their prices. Why is health care different? Between tax, tip and surcharges, a diner in SF can be paying upwards of 30% over and above the prices listed on the menu. Grrrr…
**Well, this is awkward… As I mentioned, the post was originally written in August 2009…
An appraisal on Dec. 31 about David Levine, the caricaturist for The New York Review of Books who died on Dec. 29, may have left the incorrect impression that the Russian writer Aleksandr Pushkin, the subject of one of Mr. Levine’s drawings, was homosexual. The description of Pushkin as “a gay man” was a reference to his demeanor, not his sexual orientation.
“I.O.U” by John Lanchester, in which he looks at the hideous economic disaster we all remain deep in the midst of, sounds like an excellent read, based solely on this quote from the review in the NYT.
His wit pops out at unexpected angles. About the ever-riskier wagers bankers were making, he writes: “This wasn’t just looking for trouble, it was sending trouble a ‘save the date’ card, followed by a formal invitation, followed by nagging e-mails and phone calls just to make absolutely sure.”
Ever since the amount of closet space available to me unexpectedly doubled, I’ve been jonesing to get to IKEA and stock up on wood hangers. Don’t know why, but I’ve always dreamed of the day when I could have all wood hangers for my clothing… I suppose it’s just another example of my genetic predisposition toward anality that this would, in fact, qualify as a dream…
It's a Complete Outrage 