Rain this morning, so no biking to work. Caught the 2-Clement just after I walked out the front door of my place, which was quite convenient… or was it?
The bus itself was pretty mobbed, but I was both surprised and pleased to see that people had in fact moved all the way to the back and made room so more passengers could board. This is a semi-typical scene during commute hours – we’re all miserable about being crammed into the tiny bus, but let’s do what we can to keep things civil and keep things moving along.
Of course, the glaring exception was the gal who’d gotten on at my stop just before me. As we approached the next stop, the driver encouraged people to move back, since there were more office drones waiting to be transported to work. The driver indicated he was forbidden by law from operating the vehicle if passengers were not behind the yellow line. To which Miss Lady grumbled, “This is what happens when they cut bus service…” And you know what? That is totally true!
But do you know what else? You are a self-centered, annoying twat! I’d had to push my way past you when we boarded – there was plenty of room further back, but no – you were doing the old statue routine, rooted motionless in your spot. You had your spot – why should you move, just so more people can board? I’ve got mine and no one’s taking it away from me!
Oh, and the suitcase-sized purse you’re carrying? Take it off your shoulder and carry it like a pocketbook! You’re blocking the aisle just the same as if you were wearing an enormous backpack (also, it was an ugly knockoff, so get over yourself). See, I wear a backpack – but not on the bus! I take it off and carry it, because I am not a huge asshole (at least when it comes to wearing a backpack on Muni). I made a point of smashing her bag as vigorously as possible as I shoved on back (as did the three other passengers who’d boarded after her). And I was quite tempted to politely point out that perhaps she could carry her cheaply-made designer-impostor satchel in her hand to make more room for her fellow passengers – but knowing that I’d probably wind up screaming, “Get that motherfucking bag off of your goddamn shoulder, you stupid, stupid woman! What the fuckety-fuck is wrong with you? Also, you should really do something about that hair! It is extremely unflattering!” And since she’s a regular at my stop, that would’ve been totally awkward… So I just clammed up and retreated to the blessed anonymity of the internet to air my grievances…