Happy New Year!

So long 2010! It’s been a year filled with happiness, grand adventures, the love of my amazing family and friends (new and old) and super-cute shoes. And the Giants won the World Series. Can’t ask for more than that, really…

Out With the Old

Finally schlepped myself and my big bag o’ castoff clothes to Crossroads today. And, sad though it may be to want one’s taste in clothing affirmed by a twenty-something hip young woman (who, it should be noted, was just as nice and friendly as can be), it was satisfying nonetheless. They bought everything I brought in – with the exception of the very-cute-but-pilling track jacket I bought in Japan last year (silly me, thinking I could sneak that by…) I do my best to choose clothes that will last me through several seasons (even years) of wear and apparently I’m doing a not half-bad job of it – at least as far as reselling is concerned.

Of course, it’s also quite satisfying to end the year with a bit more space in my (many, many) closets. Though, even with today’s culling of my shoe collection, I’m still maxed out in terms of space in my shoe closet – I’m going to have to do some serious editing before I can make any new acquisitions. Or I suppose I could add some shoe storage space to my main closet – maybe I can keep the “B” rotation in there…

Oh how we laughed!

Jan Brewer gave a disastrous performance in her opening statement during the Arizona gubernatorial debates. “Well, that’s the last nail in her coffin!” we West Coast elitist pinkos said, forgetting that neither stupidity nor an only modest familiarity with the intricacies of the English language are barriers to election in the state of Arizona (a.k.a. The Florida of the West) – as long as you really, really hate Mexicans and make sure everyone knows you hate them the most!

As cringe-inducing as her performance was, this subsequent tape was released soon after the debate, providing some clarity as to why Gov. Brewer was having such difficulty focusing.

Headline of the Day

OK – I actually hesitated before posting this, simply because it is making a mockery of someone’s death. But then I remembered that: a) I don’t believe in heaven or hell; and b) I am a horrible person.

So, here’s this from Gizmodo:

Only Woman to Ever Use a Neck Massager on a Neck Dies

Paramedics found the neck massager on the floor next to the woman. Investigators believe the massager got tangled on her necklace and tightened it around her neck, causing her to lose consciousness and stop breathing.

And of course it gets worse (by which I mean better) in the Comments section…

from bluebottle:

“We’re deeply saddened for this horrible tragedy that our device has caused. But come on… Really? She used it on her neck?”
– Neck Vibrator Manufacturers Public Apology.

from Crackgarden:

What in the world was her necklace made out of, adamantium?

Oh, and this happened in Florida. No comment.

from MSNBC via Gizmodo

Something is not quite right

Was just at Safeway (after a great dinner with Mom at Chow) to pick up some wine vitamins, high-fiber snacks and fresh fruit. And I did a double-take at this sign above the hot buffet. I said to myself, “Self, why is this sign catching my eye? There’s nothing particularly unusual about it…” But then I looked again and realized what was so odd – every word on the sign, with the exception of “of,” is demonstrably false.

It should read “hot” “entrees” – “irresistible” “variety” of “cafĂ©-style” “entrees.”

The Year in Pop

DJ Earworm mashes up the Billboard Top 25 from 2010. It’s pretty great – despite having to include that horrible song by Train…

No, Virginia, there is not a Santa Claus. What are you – stupid or something?

This first appeared in Spy magazine in January 1990.

Is there a Santa Claus? – a physicist’s view

Consider the following:

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total – 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each. Continue reading “No, Virginia, there is not a Santa Claus. What are you – stupid or something?”