Oh no she di’n’t…

Posh and Becks don’t spend a lot of time on my radar – though he is quite the looker, especially sans chemise. But here they are at the royal wedding. He looks handsome as ever. But goddamn! Victoria Beckham is fierce. That hot mess is six months pregnant, looking gorgeous and sashaying on into Westminster Abbey in her six-inch Louboutin pumps. The dress? Perfection. The hat? Sublime. The shoes? THE SHOES! I am literally swooning with delight…

And as long as we’re discussing the wedding and hot messes and their hats, Princess Beatrice wins by a mile. Seriously. Love this so much.

UPDATE!! More hat pix, now with Photoshop!

from Princess Beatrice and Her Hat

Bienvenue au Paradis

I don’t believe in heaven (hell is another matter entirely though, and can be found many places right here on earth – typically those involving some type of conveyance that is open to members of the public). But if I did believe in heaven, I suspect it would look exactly like this, the interior of Theurel & Thomas Maison du Macaron in San Pedro, Mexico.

from Vlamboyant

The Situation of Being Earnest

As I mentioned, I saw The Importance of Being Earnest on the Big White Way last week and it was sublime. Now, a couple of the actors from the production are presenting transcripts from Jersey Shore – in the style of Oscar Wilde. Your mind will be blown.

And be sure to watch the four other clips.

Kate Wins

Kate Middleton For The Win is pretty hilarious. And I’m not sure why – but any punchline involving “rubbish” always elicits a guffaw. I suppose it’s the Anglophile in me…

Un Weekend de Printemps à NYC

Well! Spent a wonderful five days in NYC – it was a leisurely visit with Ralph that also seemed to end in the blink of an eye. Good thing I’m heading back next month!

I’m quite liking United’s “Premium Service,” offered on all flights from SFO or LAX to JFK. Coach is entirely “Economy Plus” with extra-legroom but no additional charge. Plus, with a very large business class section, there’s always plenty of room for overhead storage, even on a full flight. It’s not quite Virgin America, but it’s pretty great for United – and I’m racking up the miles…

Arrived without incident in the West Village on Wednesday evening and, after some snacks and a glass or three of wine, went for a very late dinner at Bar Pitti. Ralph and I shared some wonderful polpette and then I had a simple and delicious penne all’arrabbiata. And to cap the evening, I spotted Fran Lebowitz as she exited the restaurant and lit up a smoke before heading off into the night. My favorite NYC celebrity sighting ever.

Thursday and Friday spent working during the day, though I did go for a walk on Thursday for lunch. It was a lovely spring day, the dogwood in bloom everywhere. Dinner on Thursday night at Negril, a very lively Jamaican place in the West Village. Had a jerk pork tenderloin with sweet potatoes – spicy and yummy.

Friday night Ralph prepared an Italian feast. Antipasti of bresaola, cippoline and broccoli rabe, followed by saltimbocca, patates fritte and fagiolini. The pictures pretty much speak for themselves – but I can assure you that everything was molto delizioso. And for dolce? An amazing tiramisu – seriously one of the best I’ve had, due not only to the fact that it was homemade, but that ingredients included both Cointreau and amaretto.

Saturday was rainy and cold – but we still managed a nice long walk with stops at Chelsea Market, the studio where Ralph works and La Maison du Macaron (whose macarons were decidedly mediocre). We’d thought about hitting the town that evening, but the pouring rain, thunder and lightning changed our minds. We stayed in noshing on salumi, cheese and tiramisu while debating politics and concluding that the world would be a better place if one or the other of us were in charge (though obviously I’d be the best choice to be King of the World).

On Sunday, we joined the rest of the gray-hairs for a matinee performance of The Importance of Being Earnest. I’d actually never seen nor read the play – how lucky I am to have this production be my first! It was marvelous, most notably for Brian Bedford’s hilarious portrayal of Lady Bracknell.

A fine post-theater dinner of steak frites at Marseille, then home to pack, sip prosecco and get a moment or two of shut-eye before my 430AM departure for JFK. On-time departures, though I didn’t especially enjoy the screaming toddler kicking my seat most of the flight home. But I did get some much needed sleep. Then straight to the office from SFO. Was I even actually gone? Sigh…

Baby Penguin Being Tickled


Seriously, could this be cuter? His name is Cookie! Plus, he has “bumblefoot” – is that the most adorable ailment ever? I’m dying…

How to Avoid Weeping and/or Murderous Rage When Reading the News

Hey America! Pull my finger...

Every time I hear King Carrot Tangerine’s surname pronounced “BAYNER,” my eyes roll into the back of my head. Just like in poem, floes, roe and woe, in English (a.k.a. AMERICAN!), “oe” does not have a long A sound. His name is pronounced “BONER.” I swear it’s almost as bad as Raymond Luxury Yacht

Anyway, keep the correct pronunciation in mind as you read any given day’s headlines. It goes a long way toward preventing the gnashing of teeth and the screaming of obscenities. To wit:

Risks to Boehner in Debt-Ceiling Brinkmanship

Boehner Presses Obama on Libya Action

Are they drifting apart? Rumors swirl that Boehner and Cantor are less than cozy

Boehner Breaks Down Again

Boehner Is Monstrous Orange Prick; Also Horrible Douchebag

OK, I made that last one up. Though it is true.

Yes please.

I think these Prada creepers must fall into the category of “so bad it’s good” –  what other explanation can there be for my lusting after them? Are they hideously fantastic or fantastically hideous? Both!

Of course, they are also $800 a pair – and are sold out! – so I will not be adding them to my shoe collection… But still – drool.

Fun fact: the term “creepers” is short for “brothel creepers.” The story goes that shoes with thick crepe soles were worn by WWII soldiers in North Africa who needed hard-wearing shoes in the harsh desert climate. Once back in London, they’d wear the same shoes when out on the town looking for “entertainment”… Style soon adopted by Teddy Boys.

Also, Birkenstock and other hideous sandals are sometimes referred to as “Jesus creepers.”

Le prodigieux!

As so often happens with the series of tubes, when I searched for and found the Canoe commercial, I found myself clicking link after related link to other perfume ads, both new and old. And I can’t stop watching this one. I still vividly remember the English language version – though of course it is even better in the original French.

First, let’s note that this ad is nearly 30 years old – but it still feels just as fresh and charming today. And second, I don’t know about you, but anything sold in a bottle that promises to make me excitant, audacieux and envoutant? Well, as the narrator asks, “Doesn’t such a fragrance excite your curiosity… just a little bit?” Yes! Yes it does! I must purchase this product immediately regardless of price!

I suppose this is why the marketing for perfume is often so amazingly well-done. I mean, it’s just a bottle of water, alcohol and a few drops of fragrant oil in a fancy bottle (breathtakingly fancy, generally, even those that appear simple and unadorned like Chanel). There’s not even a steak to sell here, it’s all sizzle. But what sizzle!

The most recent commercial for Chanel No. 5 is also fantastic, both as a genius piece of marketing (he fell in love with her as soon as he smelled her perfume! ZOMG!) and as a lovely example of the art of film-making. This spot stars Audrey Tautou and is directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Every moment is so stunningly beautiful. It is perfection… I want to live inside this commercial…  Le sigh

Algorithms are hilarious!

I’ve already forgotten what I was looking up on the Google – I think it was either how to insert new ear plugs (the faux-tribal-dirty-hipster kind, not the why-can’t-people-just-shut-the-fuck-up-so-I-wouldn’t-have-to-jam-cone-shaped-pieces-of-foam-into-my-ears-simply-for-one-moment-of-peace-and-quiet kind) or what the best brand of curry powder is.

Whatever the case, the site I wound up at had these suggestions on other how-to articles I might be interested in:

What a riot! Because is there anybody who doesn’t already know how to perform all of these tasks? Honestly, what’s next – how to blink your eyes?

Leg Looks

What can I say that would in any way enhance the perfection of this? Parrots. Veils. Opera gloves. Smoke machines. Wide-brim hats. Rattan. French tips. Wind machines. Pinstripes. Tapestry. Sexy subway rides. “New Queen Size  20% Off!” And the “Legs Look Theme” will haunt your dreams. Really, everything is amazing.

Though my own particular favorite is the phone scene. Seriously, she’s right in the middle of closing an important business lady deal (which apparently involves the straightening of imaginary seams on her hosiery) when, if I’m following the story correctly, a guy walks into the office. “Oops! Gotta go!” as she instantly interrupts her call and puts on what straight dudes presumably fantasize about as “blow job face.”

Laff of the Day

There’s an article in today’s NYT re. how the Republican presidential field is shaping up for 2012. Here’s what State Senator Kent Sorensen of Iowa had to say:

I don’t want to bash Sarah Palin, but she lacks substance.

Hmmm… I agree – she does lack substance. Perhaps all Republicans aren’t completely batshit insane after all… Mr. Sorensen then continues:

I believe Michele Bachmann has more substance.

Mr. Sorenson is a leader in the Tea Party “movement” and presumably unfamiliar with the concept of irony. Or substance.

And lest we forget, here is Rep. Bachmann being substantial.

“C” = “Come on over…”

Still love this ad – especially the Morse code-ish music. And “Canoe canoe?” is a pretty awesome line…  Though what is going on in the crotchal area of that lady’s swimsuit? Also, I think “etcetera” means “fucking.”

He’s Zack!

He made this video for his bar mitzvah.  And he is indeed the peak of fabulosity – for reals. Keep on keepin’ on, bubeleh…