I’ve already forgotten what I was looking up on the Google – I think it was either how to insert new ear plugs (the faux-tribal-dirty-hipster kind, not the why-can’t-people-just-shut-the-fuck-up-so-I-wouldn’t-have-to-jam-cone-shaped-pieces-of-foam-into-my-ears-simply-for-one-moment-of-peace-and-quiet kind) or what the best brand of curry powder is.
Whatever the case, the site I wound up at had these suggestions on other how-to articles I might be interested in:
What a riot! Because is there anybody who doesn’t already know how to perform all of these tasks? Honestly, what’s next – how to blink your eyes?
It's a Complete Outrage 
I’m stuck trying to figure out what person would be targeted for this assortment. Whimsical vegan heavy equipment operator?