“Hi, I need some laxative, denture adhesive, home pregnancy tests, analgesic suppositories, stale off-brand cookies and vaginal deodorant – and I don’t want to spend a lot of money…”
“Right this way, sir…”
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It's a Complete Outrage 
Is it a coincidence that the name of the cookies sounds like the name of a douche?
You mean the “Donald Trump Cookies”?