Quote of the Season

Even Santa knows this!

So, The Hairpin cross-posted a Dear Prudence column in which a really lovely-sounding person complained about her brother’s in-laws ruining (RUINING!) her family’s Christmas Eve tradition. How did they do this, you ask? Simply by their presence. Last year, they showed up and stayed the whole evening. And this year they are hosting Christmas Eve. They are strangers to her! THE NERVE! How dare her brother include his wife’s family in their holiday festivities? HOW VERY DARE HE?!

Anyway, there was not a lot of sympathy on anyone’s part for this “predicament.” But JessicaLovejoy hit the nail on the head with her comment re. this terrible, terrible problem:

“Ugh, sometimes it’s like people don’t even know what I’m for.” – Booze

As Homer Simpson once toasted, “To alcohol! The cause of – and solution to – all of life’s problems.”

And emilylouise offered this sage advice:

“should I stop celebrating Christmas Eve?”
…yes. Probably that. It’s the only logical solution.


National Geographic announced the winners of its photo contest for 2011 – and they are pretty incredible. This one in particular (a mere honorable mention!) of a downpour in Bhaktapur, Nepal during monsoon season is magnificent. Be sure to check out the other winners. Inspiring stuff. I really ought to practice with my own camera more… Sigh.

National Geographic via The Hairpin

Quote of the Day

Today on The Hairpin, Rose Surnow posted a “Reverse Bucket List” – that is, things she never wants to do before she dies. And as amusing as the list is, commenter applestoapples had the best addition to said list:

Read “Eat, Pray, Love”

Yes, this.

It’s the Most Gun-derful Time of the Year!

As with everyone, my email box has been filling up with sales, discounts, free shipping and various other come-ons to induce to buy things online during this, the greediest of seasons. But for some reason this subject line really stood out:

Take 8% on Select Rifle Scopes During Our 12 Days of Christmas Celebration!

Because really, what better way to celebrate the birth of Our Lord than with accessories for high-powered firearms? Though I have to confess, my first response had nothing to do with whether or not rifle scopes are an ideal Christmas gift (à chacun son goût, as I like to say). My immediate reaction was “8%? That’s it? You think 8% is enough of a discount to get me to buy whatever it is you’re selling? Unless it’s an additional 8% off of a deep markdown, no – just no. Absolutely not.”

8%. For shame.

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

While this may indeed represent my general attitude toward the holiday season:

This particular video has somewhat thawed my Scrooge-like demeanor:

“Administration, bills and loans…”

So, Madge is doing the Super Bowl half-time show – and I for one am excited! Duh. (Also, best headline re. this news is from Dlisted, of course: It’s Official: Madge Will Bring Her Thrusting Granny Poon To The Super Bowl).

And I have to say, watching the teaser for it just reminded me once again of seeing her on the Confessions tour a couple of years ago. I don’t care if she barely sang one note – the whole show was amazing. The sets, the costumes, the extraordinarily fetching male dancers, the giant LCD screens that moved and rotated, the video intros, etc.  PLUS SHE OPENED BY EMERGING FROM A GIANT DISCO BALL DRESSED IN BONDAGE EQUESTRIENNE TOGS! Seriously, take a moment to check out that get-up she’s wearing. I’m sorry, but fierce doesn’t even begin to describe it. It is sublime.

Of course, I remember saying at the time, as I was kvelling about how this was probably the most amazing concert I’d ever seen, how can she top this? And poor thing couldn’t  – The Sticky and Sweet tour sucked balls. And not in the good way.

But just for a flavor of what it was like to see that bitch appear in that disco ball, please enjoy this homemade video of a gay totally gaying out. This is exactly what it was like in person, I shit you not.

“A non-stop waterfall of chocolate decadence…”

Ironically, this is also a side-effect of eating at Golden Corral.

Other names considered for this tempting treat: Chocolate Geyser, Fudge Freefall, The Hershey Highway, Promenade of Poop.

And how much you wanna bet that patrons regularly dunk their Buffalo wings and tacquitos into this river of “decadence”?


And it’s even more delicious looking in real-life!

Das ist gut!

Why is this so fascinating? Not only am I trying to figure out how to squeeze in a trip to Hamburg if I go to Europe next year, I’m also kind of wishing I could be zapped with a shrinking ray and live inside this little land, where I would pick up cows, breathe fire, ride trains and fly airplanes.