Every day I’m shufflin’… literally.

While I remain an unabashed fan of the original version of the Party Rock Anthem video, this reinterpretation is truly excellent. Though it took me far too long to figure out the “everybody just have a good time” part…

from The Hairpin

À chacun son goût!

Thom Browne rolled out his Fall 2012 Menswear collection. He certainly has a distinct point of view! And that point of view includes mink merkins. I repeat –  MINK MERKINS! I am just dying for that to hit the mainstream. “Oh, yes, mink merkins are really on-trend this season…”

Seriously, though, despite the bizarre silhouettes, the collection is rather fascinating…

"Hi - I'm here for the job interview?"

from Style.com via The Hairpin

When the lights go down in the City…

Yes, I know that I spend a lot of time complaining about the Y – it is, after all, a freakish hellscape. Why do I keep going then? Well, I have to go somewhere to work out if I want to continue my consumption of gigantic quantities of wine and coconut macaroons – and the Y is both conveniently located and cheap. So, yeah…

Anyhow, Thursday night wasn’t too bad. The main annoyance was the guy who chose, from the literally scores of empty lockers, to use the one directly next to mine as I changed into my sweats – though at least I had only started undressing and I was able to move to another less intimately located locker. This is the type of guy who’ll use the urinal right next to you despite there being 12 other unoccupied urinals. Weirdo. Also, the lady who was wearing so much perfume that it made my eyes water from eight feet away while I used the elliptical machine was not making my evening. Yeesh…

But (before the designer imposter fragrance assault), I was peacefully enjoying the view from the elliptical machine. The Y is located directly across from the SF Bay, so I was gazing at the water at dusk, the western span of the Bay Bridge beautifully lit up for the evening. And there were a couple of sea lions frolicking in the water… Really kind of amazing and a reminder that while I may hate the gym, I do love San Francisco.

Well, this explains a LOT…

And let’s keep in mind – I’m pretty sure this applies to cat-owners regardless of gender or orientation.

Richard “Fighting Dick” Anderson Was Just Too Easy

The Hairpin recently posted a marvelous list of actual names of actual Civil War Generals – and there are some doozies! Louis Trezevant Wigfall, anyone?

And, as is to be expected, someone pointed out that some of them sounded like names of porno actors – which I of course took as my cue to modify the names into their appropriate and obvious porn analogs. And I was, of course, hilarious! Louis Trezevant Merkinfall, anyone? Here are a few of the gems I came up with…

Original                                                     Porn
William “Extra Billy” Smith                    William “Extra Willy” Smith
Bushrod Rust Johnson                            Bushrod “Rusty Trombone” Johnson
Amiel Weeks Whipple                             Amiel Tweaks Nipple
Benjamin “Spoons” Butler                      Benjamin “Poons” Butler
Young Marshall Moody                           Young Marshall Nudie

And the pièce de résistance:

Gideon Johnson Pillow                          Gideon “Johnson Pillow” Johnson Pillow

Thank you! I’ll be here all week!

Tina Fey Continues to Bring It

At last night’s Golden Globes, the camera per-usual zooms in on the nominees as they are announced. In the Best Actress in a TV Comedy, Tina Fey was nominated, the camera dutifully showed her smiling face. Then, Amy Poehler was announced and Ms. Fey video-bombed to perfection.

And apparently, this is not her first time pulling this off so very well…

via Dlisted

Shit People Say

So, I’m assuming that you’re already well-familiar with the “Shit (Specific Type of Person) Says” meme that’s been lighting up the interwebs lately? If not, it started with “Shit Girls Say” – which is rather hilarious.

It was immediately followed by lots and lots and lots of reinterpretations with various other genders/ethnicities/descriptors replacing “Girls.” And, for the most part, they were kinda meh. But just yesterday I came across three excellent ones.

First is “Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls.” It’s both funny AND cringe-inducing, since I’m quite sure that the lady who made this video has fielded all of these questions/comments many, many times.

“Not to sound racist, but…” is a classic. It is code for “I’m about to say something horribly racist, but by announcing that being racist is not my intention, that means I get a pass, right?”

Of course, it’s a conundrum. I’m a white male, but also a gay. How important is context? Am I racist for my exasperated observations of what-appear-to-be culturally-based differences in methods for boarding public transportation? Perhaps. And I certainly see a difference between being greeted “Hey Queen!” by one of my fellow gays (and generally responding “Hey girl!”) and being referred to as “that queen” by someone not of my tribe. Eh, like I always say, I’m just a misanthrope. I hate everyone, regardless of race, creed, color, national origin or sexual orientation.

Then there’s “Shit Gay Guys Say to Their Cats” – which could have been filmed in my apartment. It is eerily accurate. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, frankly…

After seeing that, I was like “Game over. That’s it. This meme cannot be improved upon.” And then, this:


via fourfour

When all else fails…

So, I’m already failing in my efforts to post every week day. So here’s something – baby sloths! Getting baths! And eating hibiscuses! Enjoy…

Boom, boom, boom…

I know I’ve already posted this repeatedly on the Facebook. But I just remain so impressed. Not only at how cleverly DJ Earworm has mashed up both the songs and the videos, but I get a rather droll subtext on the tropes that seem to show up in just about every popular song in a given period of time.

Granted, I still think I prefer last year’s version.

And how can anyone not kinda love Katy Perry?

Lucky Guy

This seems like a pretty good trip!

After I quit my job last year, I packed a bag, grabbed my camera and bought a one way ticket to London. 17 countries later, I compiled this time lapse of the many amazing places I came across.

My only quibble? He includes footage of Pier 39 in his clip of San Francisco – and I can assure you that Pier 39 is not part of San Francisco. But still, amazing video.

I’m Back! And Not Any Better Than Ever…

Well, it’s not like I actually make resolutions to start the year – but I am going to try posting on a more regular basis after the holiday doldrums. But really, what could I have posted between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day? “Drank heavily last night, ate breakfast at Chow, spent afternoon on sofa watching a Law & Order marathon, got take-out for dinner.”

But I am trying to get back into fighting form. Limited myself to two glasses of cava tonight – due largely to that’s all I had in my apartment, but still… In my defense, though, I stopped at Whole Foods on the way home and did not purchase any wine. A first!

Also went to the Y tonight for the first time since November. I was happy to discover it was not mobbed with new members attempting to fulfill their preposterous resolutions to get in shape. I had mixed feelings, however, about the fact that the place is still filled with the same assortment of freaks and weirdos. To wit:

  •  Creepy McCreeperson continued his campaign of repeatedly and unabashedly undressing me with his eyes.
  •  Standing-Too-Close Lady was in the weightlifting area, invading my personal bubble while doing her weird and far too vigorous stretching exercises.
  •  Kinda-Cute-Possibly-Gay Dude put two 5-lb weights on the bench press and then proceeded to sit on the bench reading a magazine for 15 minutes. I never saw him lift. Not cute.
  •  Aspiring-Muscle-Head eschewed clipping the weights onto the bar while bench pressing – and immediately sent two 75-lb weights crashing to the floor when he lost control of the bar.
  • Old-Guy-With-Really-Horrible-Toenail-Fungus spent 10 minutes using the hand dryer to dry his feet and sandals. While nude, of course.

Eh, all par for the course I suppose. I guess I’ll get used to it again (yeah, right). Happy New Year!