The Hairpin recently posted a marvelous list of actual names of actual Civil War Generals – and there are some doozies! Louis Trezevant Wigfall, anyone?
And, as is to be expected, someone pointed out that some of them sounded like names of porno actors – which I of course took as my cue to modify the names into their appropriate and obvious porn analogs. And I was, of course, hilarious! Louis Trezevant Merkinfall, anyone? Here are a few of the gems I came up with…
William “Extra Billy” Smith William “Extra Willy” Smith
Bushrod Rust Johnson Bushrod “Rusty Trombone” Johnson
Amiel Weeks Whipple Amiel Tweaks Nipple
Benjamin “Spoons” Butler Benjamin “Poons” Butler
Young Marshall Moody Young Marshall Nudie
And the pièce de résistance:
Gideon Johnson Pillow Gideon “Johnson Pillow” Johnson Pillow
Thank you! I’ll be here all week!