Keep Smiling, Keep Shining…

Drat – I realized I forgot to reattach my beam rack and trunk to my bike this morning. Meaning that despite packing my gym togs in my backpack, I don’t have my sneakers or padlock with me – thus being forced to skip the gym (again!) and instead spend the evening comparing the various models of Hoverounds and Jazzy Chairs to determine which is most appropriate for my active lifestyle*.

But, lucky for me, I’ve got friends who’ll help out. Or should I say, “lucky” for me, I’ve got “friends” who’ll “help out.”

Me: UGH. I forgot half my stuff for the gym, so now I can’t go. Actually, I have my clothes, but not my padlock. OH WELL – guess I’ll have to go home and finish off the Freixenet before it goes flat…

Compulsive gym-goer pal: I’ve got a lock. Here.

Me: Oh… Um, yeah. Thanks. But I’ll never remember the combination.

CGP: It’s (easily remembered 3-character alpha-numeric combo).

Me: Oh… Um… Well, I don’t have my flip-flops to wear in the shower. And my toenail is kinda effed up right now, so I’m sure I’d get a fungal infection immediately. It’s a total cootie vector.

CGP: I’ve got some extra flip-flops. Here.

Me: …

Me: …

Me: ALL RIGHT! I’LL GO! Jesus…

CGP: Have a great weekend!

That’s what friends are for!

Oh, and she also implied that I’m fat – which is actually an improvement. She usually just states it unequivocally. Also, her name rhymes with Shmemily.

STRONGLY AGREE!

From Patrick Gaspard, Executive Director of the Democratic National Committee:

And congratulations to CNN for erroneously reporting that the individual mandate was struck down – and taking 20 minutes to correct it.

Also, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man – some unemployed gal from Alaska had this to say:

What a lovely surprise.

Proving once again that good things do not come in small packages, I received a mysterious little parcel at my office today. “Hmm…,” I said to myself, “I don’t remember ordering anything online recently.” What could it be? I did observe that the delivery was from Harriet Carter, purveyor of high-quality and completely-practical goods and apparel – much like Lillian Vernon, Fingerhut and International Male.

I opened the package with only mild trepidation. I mean, it was the size of a deck of playing cards, only thinner. It couldn’t be that bad – could it? Of course, had I realized then that it was from my sister Andrea, I’d’ve known to prepare for the worst.

Yes, that’s right. “Easy-Fit Waistband.” In other words, button-on waist extenders for when one is too fat to fasten one’s jeans. OK, not “one’s jeans” – my jeans. Like this.

My sister is a treasure. I’ll be looking forward to my birthday at the end of the summer. Presumably the Lark Mobility Scooter is already on its way!

Needless to say, I do plan to run a couple of experiments with these when I arrive home – purely for scientific purposes, obviously. Though I’m already having nightmare visions of once – just once! – taking these out for a spin in public on a night when I finally have the opportunity to be “intimate” with an object of my affection, only to be immediately (and justifiably!) spurned when my shameful secret is revealed. Eh, not bloody likely, given that no one – literally not one person on earth – is interested in unbuttoning my pants.

Me? Single? Yes, how did you know?

So, attempting to scrounge up dates is the worst. It’s almost as bad as actually going on them! UGH.

Anyhoo, in these modern times, online date trolling seems to be the only marginally-effective avenue for meeting potential mates. So, I give it the old college try. Have met a few nice fellows, though thus far all of the friend-zone variety. I’ve also had some good online chats. Such as this…

Me: Oh, what are you studying?

Him: Interior design and architecture. I just finished my first year. [Ed. note: This is adult education. He is not a 19-year-old. I’m not insane] Five more to go.

Me: That’s a lot of school just to karate-chop pillows and throw a bunch of tchotchkes around.

Him: But one major is a B.A. and the other is a B.S.

Me: Bachelor of Arts & Bachelor of Slipcovers?

Someone really needs to explain to me again why I remain single…

C’mon and Ride It

The very notion of a “party bus” is anathema to me, since it generally means “bus filled with a bunch of drunk bridge-and-tunnel d-bags” – and I’m not bridge-and-tunnel.

That being said, I would totally crank open the sunroof and stand and scream “WOOOOOOOOOOO!” while cruising down the street in this sweet, sweet ride.

from FAILBlog

Relevant to My Interests?

Facebook’s algorithms seem to be getting to know me just a tad better – though how I got served something regarding a master’s degree for “working professionals” is a mystery…

I Don’t Think That Means What You Think It Means

Flipping through the June issue of PC World and happened on this gem. I had to flip back to the cover to ensure I wasn’t reading The Onion.

Ms. Darwell is writing a book that includes other valuable pointers such as “How to Meet Your Deadlines Using Angry Birds”; “Sharpen Your Project Management Skills with Words With Friends”; and “Fast Track Your Career By Spending Untold Hours Reading the Shockingly Racist and Ill-informed Comments That Accompany Every Online Article from Your Local Newspaper.”

Pray God You Can Cope

I fell in love with this song pretty much immediately upon acquiring The Sensual World lo those more than 20 years ago. Of course, it wasn’t until at least a decade later that I learned it had been featured in She’s Having a Baby, a John Hughes film I’d never seen. And I thought to myself, “Well, he is an effective filmmaker. Why wouldn’t he use such a beautiful song?” Imagine my surprise another ten years later when I learned that Kate Bush had actually written the song not only specifically for this movie, but for this particular scene which had already been filmed.

Anyway, it hardly matters. It’s a beautiful song. The clip from the movie is marvelous, as is Ms Bush’s music video. Happy Father’s Day to one and all.

And here’s a quite lovely cover…

Get Your Judas On

So, I’ve become sort of mildly obsessed with Jesus Christ Superstar since I saw Josh Young perform the title song live at the Tonys on Sunday (and in spite of the fact I’ve never seen the show performed and have only seen bits and pieces of the film). I thought he was really freakin’ amazing and tore the roof off the place – but in looking at the comments on Youtube, plenty of folks were full of opinions about the “best” Judas – who knew there was such a good selection of Judases?

Here’s the “classic” version from the 1973 film, with Carl Anderson breaking it down to Ted Neeley’s Jesus. In the original Broadway production of the show, Ben Vereen was cast as Judas, with Anderson as his understudy. After stepping in when Vereen fell ill and, presumably, tearing the roof off, Anderson and Vereen took turns playing the role. Fun fact: in 1992, Anderson and Neeley reprised their respective roles in a revival tour slated to run for three or four months. It wound up running for five years and grossing over $100 million. Jesus!

Now many people think of Anderson as the “original” Judas. While he was indeed cast as Judas in the first authorized production in Pittsburgh, PA, before Jesus Christ Superstar was ever produced theatrically, it existed as an unstaged rock opera recording – and here’s Murray Head (I KNOW!) giving us ’60s Judas.

In 2000, another movie version was released, directed by Gale Edwards based on her  1996 London/Broadway stage revival and shot entirely on indoor sets. Andrew Lloyd Weber stated in a documentary about the making of this film that it was the closest to his original vision (he hated the first Broadway production). Here’s Jérôme Pradon giving good Judas.

Here’s Josh Young (yes, I know I included the same clip in the previous post) at the Tonys. He was nominated for Best Featured Actor in a Musical and this performance makes it clear why. I have watched this dozens of times – dude is bringing it (though what’s with the backup singers’ chipmunk voices?). He also deserves the Tony for Best Rocking a Tight Blue Satin Suit. Fun fact: Mr. Young is from a Conservative Jewish family.

I also came across a version of this song performed by Michael Bolton at some sort of Grammy All-Stars show. Obviously I’m not posting that shite.

I should also add that my favorite part of this excellent song is the rollicking orchestral bridge just after the first chorus by the back-up singers. And I will say that those dancer/singer ladies making their entrance in the original film is the best 5 seconds of the movie, as this gif makes quite evident.

Oh, Broadway. You’re the Best.

How I love the Tonys. Sure, it’s really just a three-hour commercial for the Broadway “brand” – but what a commercial! And maybe I’m just a sap, but the acceptance speeches seem so genuinely heartfelt – thanks directed to fellow cast members, to writers, to other nominees, to parents, to acting coaches. People seem truly thrilled to be honored by this small and very passionate community.

Of course, the thing that always makes me a bit sad when I watch the Tony Awards is the fact that I don’t live in NYC. It breaks my heart knowing that I won’t get to see this year’s production of Death of a Salesman – and that I still haven’t seen Book of Mormon. I need to figure out how to fund an annual trip each spring and just go to see a show every day for a week-and-a-half…

Here are a few of my favorites from last night.

Haven’t seen Once (dying to, obviously) but I’m totally down with Steve Kazee’s win for Best Actor in a Musical.

Corny? Absolutely. But the dancing is spectacular.

Wow. Just wow. I want to fly to NYC right now and see Jesus Christ Superstar.

Proud Marys!

Well, it’s June  – Gay Pride Month! And I’m preparing myself for all of the various festivities, as accurately portrayed on NYC Gays (I like to keep up on the latest trends…)

2 weeks before:

Monday after:

from NYC Gays

Paper Prometheus Trailer

Despite the mostly mediocre reviews, I’m eager to see Prometheus when it opens this weekend. And this paper rendition of the preview is absolutely helping. I don’t know how they make that screamy music sound effect at the end, but it’s sending chills down my spine (in a good way).

And here’s the trailer it’s based on.

“See the USA, in your Chevro-gay…”

Great ad – though I’d still never buy a Chevy (not that I even own a car, what with being a smug and self-satisfied SF bicyclist).

from Towleroad

 

 

How to Dance at the Club

The only thing he gets wrong? “The Towel” is actually called “Two Invisible Dicks.” Personally, I specialize in “The Kadiri.”

And can we get an extra-special bonus shout-out to that Louis Vuitton bag? It’s perfection. And 100%: