Category: san francisco

Pulled Over!

I must confess, I was a bit leery of sharing this video on here, what with the slim chance that some anti-bike nuts will stumble across it and brand me history’s greatest monster for my horrible lawlessness and disregard for human life. But, eh – what’re you gonna do?

Anyhoo, a few weeks ago, I was biking home, eastbound on Market St. and I got pulled over by an SFPD officer. My crime? Stopping for a red light at 10th and Market – but doing so after the intersection’s limit line.

Oh, and while you watch, please keep your eye out for the MB SUV in the left lane – I’ll have more to say about him later…

Now, let me state for the record: YES, I AM WELL-AWARE THAT WHAT I DID WAS A VIOLATION OF THE MOTOR VEHICLE CODE. I also certainly appreciated that I was let go with a warning and that the officer was generally courteous (though I thought he belabored the rules about the limit line).

But here’s why I have some issues with this incident:

1. This is a particularly poorly designed stretch of road. As cars and bikes pass Van Ness going eastbound, they are forced to cross paths in a way that is confusing and potentially dangerous for the uninitiated. Vehicles must get into the far right lane as bikes must merge from the right into the center bike lane. Once at 10th, the intersection’s limit line is six car-lengths back from 10th St. Thus, while I did in fact go past the limit line, I was not in the path of any vehicular traffic nor did I interact with any pedestrians, since there were none present at any time during this incident. Also, what about the the two cars in the right lane that had passed the limit line? Why weren’t they busted?

2. What happened to that MB SUV? He was in the transit/taxi only lane in the left yet he never passed the waiting SFPD officer east of 10th St. So, besides having already been illegally traveling in the transit lane, he had to have executed an illegal left- or U-turn – or made a right turn from the left lane onto 10th St. cutting across the bike lane – both illegal and dangerous. And given that he must’ve seen the scooter getting pulled over, the MB driver was pretty clearly aware that he was illegally traveling in the transit lane. Of the bikes, the scooter and the MB, the MB’s actions were, in my view, the most serious and included multiple violations – yet he got away scot-free.

3. What about the first biker guy? He just kept going and thus didn’t get a lecture. That’s a pretty lousy lesson – that I’d be better off ignoring a police officer, since he won’t bother to pursue.

4. Finally – and, really, this is far and away my biggest complaint about this incident – this little stakeout on Market St. was on the afternoon of December 14th – the same day as SantaCon. In other words, someone in command at SFPD decided that, despite the presence in the city that day of thousands of open-container-carrying, public-urinating, projectile-vomiting, “Show us your tits!”-screaming, drunken Santas staggering from bar to bar (several of whom can be seen and heard in the background of my video), this was the ideal day to set up a little trap on Market St. to catch bikers who stopped for a red light but a few feet past the limit line. Excellent setting of priorities, SFPD!

I Love My Commute

Got a cool new Contour helmet cam for my birthday! I’m looking forward to documenting and sharing the various bad behaviors and outrages visited upon me as a pedal my way around the city.

And here’s my maiden voyage. I still need to get something to help cut down on the wind noise, but it’s actually not too bad as-is. My favorite part? The mike picks up quite easily on everything I say – which most typically is “What’s this idiot doing?” or “Jesus, look at this jackass.” This particular ride was uneventful, so no narration. But I’m sure that’ll change!

Not Cool, FedEx Driver, Not Cool…

I was riding my bike home after work on Friday, June 13, using the marked bicycle lane on Howard St. here in SF. And, for the third day in a row, came across a FedEx delivery truck parked in front of 500 Howard thusly:

The white line on the left is the bike lane marker.
The white line on the left is the bike lane marker.
And here one can see that the driver had plenty of room to keep from blocking the bike lane.
And here one can see that the driver had plenty of room to keep from blocking the bike lane.

Now, as a regular recipient of packages from FedEx and UPS, I am not unsympathetic to drivers and their need to park their vehicles and keep to their schedule. But given that this fellow had plenty of room both in front of and behind his truck to park in this marked loading zone, his decision to completely block the bike lane is either rank incompetence or a big “fuck you” to cyclists. Frankly, the motivation doesn’t matter. He has created a situation that is dangerous for every cyclist using this heavily-traveled route – and right at the beginning of rush hour.

Howard St. is a one-way, four-lane artery to both the Bay Bridge and the 101 freeway – plus this location at 500 Howard is immediately after a traffic signal – meaning that this FedEx driver’s blocking of the bike lane virtually guarantees interaction between bikes and cars as the bikes are forced to merge into the traffic lane to go around the FedEx truck.

Unfortunately, the driver of the truck was not near his truck on Friday – but I can assure you the next time I come across this (and yes, I’m sure there’ll be a next time – like I said, this was the third day in a row that he’d parked like this) and he’s around, I’ll address it with him directly. But I certainly hope that someone at FedEx sees this post and takes some steps to ensure their drivers don’t engage in such blatant disregard for bicyclists and the CA vehicle code (section 21211, if you’re interested).

YOU’RE WELCOME, SAN FRANCISCO!

Sure, the Giants played an amazing 4 (ha! 4!) games to win the World Series – but credit where credit is due. Without my rally cap, rally shirt, rally underpants and rally cat with rally cape, there’s no  way we could’ve won!

Also, Bye Bye Baby! And hello second championship in three years!

Oh, well, it was a car, not a bike, so no big deal…

Hey, I’m ridin’ here!

So, another pedestrian was killed in San Francisco – the 11th this year. Of these 11 deaths, 10 were caused by motor vehicles and one by a bicycle. The most recent death occurred on Saturday evening in the Tenderloin and was caused when a taxi driver allegedly ran a red light and struck the pedestrian. This story warranted a total of four paragraphs in SFGate – while there are at least seven discrete articles relating to the death of a pedestrian who was struck by a bicyclist in March.

I only learned of the most recent pedestrian death via the news crawl on KTVU this morning. And it’s really infuriating. Pedestrian deaths by automobile receive barely a raised eyebrow, yet when a bicycle is the culprit, the pitchforks and torches are out in an instant.

Don’t get me wrong – Chris Bucchere, the cyclist who is accused of driving recklessly and is facing felony manslaughter charges, appears to be completely culpable in the death of the pedestrian he struck when allegedly running a red light. But why did that particular case warrant such an inordinate amount of coverage? Simply because he was cycling – had he run the red light and killed a pedestrian while driving a motor vehicle, no one would even know Chris Bucchere’s name.

I think people, regardless of mode of transportation, should be held accountable  when their negligent behavior causes death or injury. But there also needs to be acknowledgement – both legally and culturally – that bicycles and automobiles are very different. Bicycles are statistically and demonstrably less of a danger to pedestrians. Being hit by a 2000 lb. automobile traveling at 30 MPH is more likely to cause severe injury or death than being bit by 30 lb. bicycle – this is not my opinion, it is a fact, based on the laws of physics. Yet the anti-bike folks in SF continue to trot out anecdotal evidence of how terrible bike riders in the City are and the level of risk they present.

This is why cyclists like me tend to roll our eyes when we hear the breathless accounts of the rampant lawlessness of the biking community in SF, of our constant and intentional menacing of all pedestrians – these complaints are not based on reality. “Oh, well, just this morning I was nearly run over by a guy on a bike who didn’t stop!” That may very well be true – but it’s likely that 1o people had the exact same experience this morning with a motor vehicle, but since cars remain king (and more ubiquitous than bikes), it’s not even remarked upon.

Frankly, those who shout loudest about the exaggerated “danger” of bicycles should also be shouting the loudest about more and better dedicated bike infrastructure, which would keep bikes separated from cars and more effectively manage interaction with peds. However, the anti-bike crowd seems to care only about issuing more citations to cyclists or blocking the creation of new bike lanes that might result in fewer parking spaces or travel lanes for motor vehicles. So, as a biker, I am  left to conclude  that anti-bike sentiment is purely visceral, not based on facts and simply a reflection of the complainers’ bias.

Of course, that’s just a long-winded way of saying I think the anti-bike folks are, in fact, stupid.

The Idaho Stop

Probably one of the most challenging parts of being a bicyclist in SF (besides dodging potholes, jaywalking peds and inattentive drivers) is that we are typically portrayed as a singular entity. That is, people rely on their own anecdotal evidence of a-hole cyclists to reach the conclusion that all cyclists are a-holes. In fact, most cyclists ride in a safe and generally law-abiding manner.

Of course, to some degree, “law-abiding” can be in the eye of the beholder. Check out this crackdown by the SFPD on cyclists on the Wiggle, all being sited for failure to come to a complete stop at stop sign. N.B.: Pay close attention to traffic behind the irate dogwalker.

Why are bikes being singled out for enforcement here? Those cars coming to a rolling stop should be getting ticketed as well.

Of course, the larger issue is that it simply doesn’t make sense for bikes to come to a complete stop at a stop sign. In the report above, the guys who didn’t slow down or check the intersection? They deserved to be cited.  But it is actually completely possible for a cyclist to obey the premise of a stop sign, yielding to peds and cars, without coming to a two-wheel stop. Here’s a great piece on the Idaho Stop, something the state of Oregon is attempting to introduce.

Of course, I hold out little hope of such a logical and appropriate law to ever be implemented (or even considered) in Cali. The cultures of “zero-tolerance” and self-entitlement (and this applies to everybody – drivers, bikers, peds… especially in SF. Well, everybody except me of course, since I am a paragon of virtue in all that I do. But I digress…) pretty much guarantee that any change in traffic laws that required people to be reasonable, attentive and patient would never be tolerated.

Why, Hoosiers?

Yes, it was delicious

Memorial Day and I had a craving for a carnitas burrito – specifically, a carnitas burrito from Gordo Taqueria. The sun was shining (though there was a stiff breeze), so onto my bike and off to the Sunset. I figure the 8-mile round trip ride would counteract a goodly portion of the pork-cooked-in-lard-which-therefore-makes-it-extra-delicious burrito.

Golden Gate Park was surprisingly quiet for a holiday, so I was somewhat displeased to find Gordo’s to be very crowded. But the line wasn’t too long and I managed to get the last little table.

But wait, what’s going on here? It finally became clear why the place was so crowded. Of the ten tables in the place, fully half were occupied by a group of 16 or so rubes tourists from Indiana (judging by the plethora of apparel emblazoned with their state’s name – I guess in case they get lost?).

Now, I get that tourism is a huge part of the SF economy. And I applaud these folks for finding there way to a really excellent taqueria rather than lining up at the Cheesecake Factory. But…

First of all, that’s too large of a party to take to such a small place. Imagine the poor schmuck behind them who has to wait in line while all 16 of them hem and haw and ask questions and panic over the salsa being too spicy and deciding who’s paying for whom. All he wanted was his usual “regular carnitas with cheese and guacamole, spicy”  and now he’ll have to wait 20 minutes just to order it.

Second of all, if you are going to show up at a tiny place like this with your inappropriately large party, you need to get that shit to go. You’re literally half a block from Golden Gate Park. Have a picnic! Eat and walk! Anything other than pushing tables together, moving chairs around and hogging up half the space in the tiny establishment!

Third of all, if you do selfishly decide to take up half the tables in the place, you need to eat those burritos stat and the get the fuck out. Don’t sit around, sipping your sodas and shootin’ the breeze, deciding where you ought to go next. You’re not in a cafe in Paris – you’re in a very small and busy taqueria that is frequented largely by couples and Mary Ann Singleton’s who just want to sit, wolf down a burrito and get on with their lives.

Fourth of all, when you do finally clear out, be sure to leave the tables and chairs that you’ve rearranged all willy-nilly all over the place and don’t bus your tables or throw away your trash. Let someone else take care of that for you…

Fifth of all, Jesus H. Christ!

But, to end on a happy note, here’s a photo of my sweet ride. Je t’aime, ma belle bicyclette!

Screw You, Comcast!

Yes. Yes they do.

I’d been flirting with the purchase of a new TV for awhile and recently came across the right combination of price and quality – but I wasn’t in a particular hurry to upgrade. One thing I did know, however, was that I’d have to trade my old cable card for a cable box – which seemed like a good reason to renegotiate with Comcast.

Currently, they offer new customers a price of $29.99 a month for “Digital Starter”; the same package for existing customers is $63 (nice way to reward loyalty, you fuckers). So, I sent an email to Rick Germano, SVP for Customer Ops at Comcast. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t get to Mr. Germano himself, but I was hopeful it would at least be directed to a team of service reps who understood customer value equations…

In the email, I advised that I wanted the same deal as a new customer would get – and that I was perfectly willing to sign a two-year service agreement to obtain the offer. I further advised that if Comcast was unwilling to accommodate me, I’d cancel my subscription once I bought a new TV – it’s Wifi enabled, so I can watch Netflix, Hulu Plus and Amazon Prime right from my TV and use an antenna for local channels (in HD!).

I got a call the next day from an unhelpful dolt at Comcast, reading from a script, telling me the offer I was requesting was not available to existing customers. When I restated my request, the rep testily replied, “Well, if you’d let me finish what I was saying.” This did not bode well… Anyway, his counteroffer was a plan for $39.99 a month. I explained again that I saw no reason why a new customer should get a better offer than an existing customer. I went on to explain that I was disappointed that Comcast had someone contact me who is apparently unable to comprehend that, while giving me the offer I’d requested would lower my value as a customer, that my cancellation of service would eliminate my value. $29.99 per month > $0 per month. Not to mention the money Comcast will spend trying to win me back as a new customer – in which case I’ll qualify for the offer I’d requested initially.

Needless to say, as soon as I ended this call, I ordered my new TV online – out of spite. And I couldn’t be happier. It was delivered yesterday; it is beautiful; and it is meeting all of my television viewing needs without any help from Comcast. I am eagerly anticipating the call to end my subscription. I’ll show them!

Oh, and here’s my gorgeous new TV. I’ll post an update shortly re. the antenna, which is freakishly well-designed and gloriously effective.

Before:

After:

I’M ALIVE! Well, as much as I ever am…

Wow! I sure was sick – five days with a temperature above 100° – it was not pleasant. Not one bit. But I am much improved, if not entirely cured – and well on the road to recovery, I hope.

In other excellent news, SFist reports that the long-abandoned New Mission theater is being eyed for restoration and reuse as a member of small-ish Austin theater chain, Alamo Drafthouse. This would be a dream come true, for many reasons, not the least there really excellent programming and the fact that they serve booze.

But the number one reason that I pine for an outpost of Alamo here in SF is this:

You stupid, stupid woman. And kudos to you Alamo Drafthouse.

When the lights go down in the City…

Yes, I know that I spend a lot of time complaining about the Y – it is, after all, a freakish hellscape. Why do I keep going then? Well, I have to go somewhere to work out if I want to continue my consumption of gigantic quantities of wine and coconut macaroons – and the Y is both conveniently located and cheap. So, yeah…

Anyhow, Thursday night wasn’t too bad. The main annoyance was the guy who chose, from the literally scores of empty lockers, to use the one directly next to mine as I changed into my sweats – though at least I had only started undressing and I was able to move to another less intimately located locker. This is the type of guy who’ll use the urinal right next to you despite there being 12 other unoccupied urinals. Weirdo. Also, the lady who was wearing so much perfume that it made my eyes water from eight feet away while I used the elliptical machine was not making my evening. Yeesh…

But (before the designer imposter fragrance assault), I was peacefully enjoying the view from the elliptical machine. The Y is located directly across from the SF Bay, so I was gazing at the water at dusk, the western span of the Bay Bridge beautifully lit up for the evening. And there were a couple of sea lions frolicking in the water… Really kind of amazing and a reminder that while I may hate the gym, I do love San Francisco.

Hahahahaha!

“Let’s see, it’s 5:30PM on the day after Thanksgiving. Let’s jump in the car and head down to Union Square. And if traffic is, by some strange twist of fate, backed up for blocks and blocks and blocks, I can just lean on my horn to get things moving…”

Idjits.

The view from my aerie in the 'Loin.

Ralph à SF

Despite my frail and poopy condition, Ralph spent a long weekend here with me in SF and we had a lovely visit as always. Since I wasn’t quite my usual lively/manic self, it was a quiet weekend, and most definitely food-centric. I didn’t even take a single photograph! Lucky for me, Ralph takes amazing photos with his iPhone.

We had dinner at Delfina Pizzeria on the evening Ralph arrived, followed by a couple of scoops from Bi-Rite Creamery. Roasted banana, salted caramel and coconut ice creams remain excellent – I realize this is quite shocking news…

On Friday, Ralph visited the DeYoung while I worked from home. We met up later that afternoon to prepare for dinner chez moi, stopping at K&L Wine and Whole Foods for the final ingredients for a meal of meatloaf. Now, I know you’re saying to yourself, “Meatloaf? He flies all the way from NYC to visit and you make meatloaf? Yeesh…” But Ralph has long insisted that meatloaf is one of his favorite American foods and I actually make a pretty good one – so, meatloaf! And, it was rather delicious if I do say so myself…

Saturday we spent a bit of time at the Farmer’s Market at the Ferry Plaza before a lazy afternoon of chatting and catching up at my place. Dinner was at L’Ardoise, my favorite French bistro in the City. And it was excellent as always – in fact, probably the best meal I’ve ever had there. We both had filet mignon with pommes frites. And I don’t bandy the word “perfect” around when it comes to food – but the filet was perfect: perfectly cooked and seasoned, exactly the right size, tender, beefy. Just amazingly excellent.

Sunday we had a late brunch at Foreign Cinema with ma mère. Everything very tasty per usual, especially the Bloody Marys! Of course, since brunch wasn’t until almost 1PM, we’d made an early pitstop at La Boulange for a couple of croissants…  After brunch, a nice walk through the Mission and then home to watch a movie.

Later that evening, we ate at Locanda. Jewish-style artichoke (i.e. deep-fried!), an amazing salad with tuna conserva and then veal-stuffed casoncelli alla saltimbocca. Oh and fried dough balls stuffed with ricotta. And an Amari flight… Yes, it was good. Sooo good…

And then before I knew it, it was Monday and Ralph was on his way back to SFO (where he would soon be happily ensconced in the Admiral’s Club waiting to board business class before all the horrible peons in coach…). A weekend goes by so quickly…

Good News, Bad News

The good news? A Japanese curry place has opened up right down the block from my apartment. Yum! The bad news? A Japanese curry place has opened up right down the block from apartment. And deep fried pork in curry sauce is unlikely to have a desirable affect on my slimming regimen.

But be that as it may, Kare-Ken is delicious. Went for the first time on Friday evening and got a to-go order of pork katsu served on rice with a sweet and spicy curry sauce and a side of tangy cabbage slaw. It was hearty and delicious and only $8.50. I will be back – probably with some frequency. And I guess I’ll have to increase the frequency of my gym visits so I don’t wind up skinny-fatter than I am today.

Parking Laws Are for the Little People

Mercedes-Benz? Check.
SUV? Check.
Handicapped placard? Check.
Parked across five metered motorcycle spaces? Check.

It’s a douchebag grand slam! Also, I was shocked – shocked! – to discover that the Oompa-Loompa-hued owner of this vehicle was not, in fact, wheelchair-bound. She didn’t even have the courtesy to fake a limp as she strode out of the supermarket, carrying her groceries without visible impairment. I did throw her some malocchio, though…

The Ukulele Should Have Been a Dead Giveaway

While the food (especially the tonkatsu) at Delica is certainly tasty, the ordering process is, to be kind, not exactly a model of efficiency. Of course, some most of this is due to the fact that most people don’t know how to queue and/or are indecisive morons.

So, the other day, I’m doing my best to stand in line properly, turning the line 90° so that once it extends past the entrance to the establishment, it doesn’t block the entire central aisle of the Ferry Plaza. To no avail, per usual – the next guy to get in line stands next to me and people start lining up behind him. Honestly, I wonder how these people even find their way home in the evening…

At any rate, there’re a couple of d-bags in line in front of me – I know that they were d-bags because one of them wondered where their friend “B-Man” was. Jesus…  So, “B-Man” and some other friend showed up and cut in line with them. I was tempted to say something, but having been down this road before, knew that the two latecomers would simply tell their friends what to order for them which would likely slow the line down even more. So I gritted my teeth and massaged the vein throbbing in my forehead.

But something was amiss. B-Man seemed to fit right in – but the other fellow seemed a bit… off. He was a long-hair – and he had a ukulele. After observing him briefly, I was pretty sure that he had just sidled into the line with B-Man despite not being a member of B-Man’s circle of d-bags…  But it was really too late to something at this point. The die had been cast, the Rubicon crossed…

Once it was Ukulele Guy’s turn to order, the line came to a screeching halt. He started asking many, many questions about the menu, including whether he could have half soup and half beef curry in the same order (WTF?). Then the following dialogue took place:

Me (loudly and with umbrage): “Look, you already cut in front of me in line. How about you just make up your mind?”

Ukulele Guy (snidely): “Well, maybe you should just go ahead of me!”

Me (immediately stepping in front of him and addressing the lady who’d been waiting on him): “I’d like two tonkatsu, one spicy chicken and rice, please.”

And, scene. Well except that then Ukulele Guy had to enlist the assistance of another patron in ordering, advising loudly and in my direction that the menu was “very confusing.”

Eat These Now

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to post about Hooker’s Sweet Treats, located right here in the ‘Loin. Obviously, the name alone is enough to earn a solid thumbs up.

And the chocolates – oy, the chocolates! Only two varieties – salt caramels and the recently introduced mixed nut caramels. Both rely on the same buttery and perfectly textured caramel. The salt caramel is enrobed in dark chocolate and topped with the exact right amount of sea salt. The nut caramel looks simple enough: a cube of caramel with mixed nuts (obv) but – surprise! – there is a thin layer of chocolate on the bottom. They are sublime. I am obligated to bring them on every visit to NYC – Ralph has advised I am not welcome if I don’t have a box of them in my suitcase.

And then there’s this, from Saturday’s article in the Chronicle about the “trendy” Tenderloin (WTF? Though the article is by C.W. Nevius, who is, for lack of a better word, a tool, so whatevs..):

This month David Williams will celebrate his first anniversary at Hooker’s Sweet Treats. Who knew you’d need to go to lower Hyde to score some awesome hand-dipped, sea-salted caramel candies? But there have been a few Tenderloin moments, like the woman who hit Williams in the face with her purse. That began when he asked her to move along.

“You’re just hassling me because I’m black,” the woman said.

“No, it’s because you’re smoking crack in my front door,” Williams replied.

Ain’t it the truth. And congratulations to Mr. Williams for reaching the one-year mark.

Oh, Hooker’s also serves coffee and baked goods. I haven’t had a chance to try yet – but apparently a semi-regular offering is coconut-pineapple bread pudding. Um, yes please.

Well, at least I’m hilarious

What a day! The weather was hideous – rainy and muggy and apparently the wettest June 28th in SF history. I had a giant burrito for lunch from my building’s cafeteria which, though delicious, both distended my belly and gave me heartburn. I realized, just as I was walking into the Y (for cardio to counteract the effects of the aforementioned burrito), that I had not received a bunch of data from a colleague that was due to me today – thus necessitating a return to the office to prod, since I actually have to process said-data before tomorrow.

Luckily, though, I can complete the work from home – and it was a good excuse to skip the Y (though of course due to the missed workout I have now crossed from “obese” to “morbidly obese”). So I headed home, with a quick pit stop at the Ferry Plaza Wine Merchant to pick up dinner something to accompany dinner. I have to say, I’ve never been a fan of this particular establishment – I think they are pricey and I find the staff’s attitude ranges from indifferent to surly (with the notable exception of the dude who two weeks ago sagely and enthusiastically recommended a Le Roc rosé priced at a reasonable $12).

Tonight, I grabbed a bottle and waited forlornly at the cash register while the HBIC stood out in front of the shop yakking on her phone. Ordinarily, I’d have said something along the lines of, “Hey Miss Thing! How ’bout you get off the horn and pretend you care about separating me from my hard-earned cash?” – but I wasn’t sure if she was actually a member of the staff (though I was pretty sure I recognized her “what the fuck do you want?” demeanor). Anyway, I did manage to get some dude at their bar to ring me up. And on the way out, I verified that Talk-a-rella was wearing the company fleece and had, in fact, been ignoring my custom. And I missed my bus, thanks to the wait…

Once I did get on the bus, after a 12-minute wait, I was only mildly crabby. I’d skipped the gym, I had some wine and my cat was waiting for me at home. Then I saw this:

Seriously, WTF?

OK! First, she sat down in the seats reserved for seniors/handicapped. I don’t actually know whether she qualified. But then! She stood up – which is fine! But proceeded to stand in such a way that she was both blocking anyone else from sitting AND was leaning on the pole, thus ensuring no one else could hold on! The only way this could’ve been worse is if she’d been a serial killer! Or had been wearing a backpack! OR BOTH! It was really all I could do not to jump up and yell, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” But of course I just seethed silently because I’m a wimp…

I did eventually wind up at home unscathed – and was immediately put into a delightful frame of mind when I recalled how I unintentionally brought the house down amongst my co-workers this afternoon.

As anyone who knows me is well-aware, I am something of a loud-talker. I admit it freely, though I often forget that anytime I open my mouth, everyone within a 50-foot radius can hear every word.

So, I’m at my desk and my cell phone rings. And I answer. And it’s some rep from Sprint, calling to “thank” me for being a customer and to ensure that I’m happy with my service and to sell me more crap. I’ve gotten these calls several times over the last few months – and each time I’ve requested that Sprint refrain from calling me. Just as I did this time…

“Actually, I’ve received several of these calls from Sprint and I’ve asked you not to call. I prefer that you communicate with me via email or postal service, not by telephone.”

The rep’s response was to start in part II of the spiel, “Did you know you’re eligible to add a line to your account, blah, blah, blah…”

To which I simply responded, “Did you not hear what I just said?” in what I considered to be a firm yet courteous (though somewhat booming) tone – and all of my colleagues within shouting distance howled with laughter. I wasn’t attempting to be hilarious – I JUST AM! At that point, it was difficult for me to keep a straight-face (especially considering the peals of laughter were clearly audible over the phone) before I politely said my good-bye and rang off. It’s always good to keep my co-workers entertained!

NYC’s Complete Streets

This video is just great.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

SF is slowly but surely improving things for cyclists – and it’s actually a very bike friendly city already! But NYC’s “complete streets” approach is quite amazing. I look forward to SF having things like bike lanes physically separated from automobile traffic; more (and better enforced) dedicated transit lanes; and traffic calming features.

Of course, I’m also very jealous that NYC’s terrain is so flat. No need for The Wiggle!

Where am I?

I innocently walked into the Walgreens around the corner from my office – my office which is located in San Francisco, California, to the west of the Rockies.

But, like in an episode of the Twilight Zone, I’d apparently walked through some portal into another dimension. This is clearly evidenced by the availability of this product:

What? The? Fuck? I have no idea how that jar of Hellmann’s managed to make it all the way here – presumably after escaping from a Shop-Rite in Queens. I can just see the jar, hopping a west-bound train, hobo-style.

Interesting fact: Best Foods brand mayonnaise is only sold in the western U.S. All other countries are branded “Hellmann’s” – which in Argentina includes Hellmann’s Mayonesa Doblemente Batida (“extra batter style” – sounds, um, battery?) and Salsa Golf (mayonnaise with tomato paste) – and something I wish were offered in this country simply so I could ask “Could I have some Salsa Golf?” when dining out.