bikes – It's a Complete Outrage

First Time in Laos

Luang Prabang, Laos – 15-19 November 2018

Despite the short distance, it was a bit of an all-day affair to get from Phnom Penh to Luang Prabang, thanks to having to fly via Bangkok. But it was a mostly uneventful trip. The flights were short and I spent my layover in the Miracle Lounge at BKK waiting for my connecting flight, thanks to my Priority Pass. Lounge was comfy enough with some very tasty food. Granted, I was less than pleased with the old white lady putting her bare feet up on a chair while she kicked back and listened to Christian sermons on her phone – with the external speaker natch…

Oh, and then there was the fellow who was seated in my row on the flight to LP. I was on the aisle, reading my magazine during boarding and he needed to get past me. Rather than saying “Pardon me” or some other normal method of interacting, he just stood in the aisle staring at me – while all the other boarding passengers were stuck behind him – until I finally felt his freakish gaze and looked up.

“Oh, did you need to get in here?” I asked.

He just continued staring at me. Very peculiar. Oh, and once he was seated (and while we were still sitting at the gate), he reported to the flight attendant that the passenger in front of him “tried to recline their seat.” I think he was expecting her to reprimand the other passenger? All I can say is I’m happy the flight was half empty and I moved one row back to get away from this weirdo.

As we approached LPQ, we were flying over the lush green mountains of this province. It was actually a tad intimidating, because we were clearly descending but there sure didn’t seem to be any large, flat expanses of ground that might accommodate something like – oh, I don’t know – an airport. Eh, I’m sure the pilots know where they’re going.

I was listening to music on my headphones as we approached LPQ – and Aaron Copeland’s “Hoedown” shuffled on. It’s a quintessentially American song – yet it seemed the perfect song to hear as I started my latest adventure. And it was one of those moments I have sometimes when I travel where I realize how incredibly lucky I am to be able to visit different countries, meet new people and experience cultures other than my own. It got me a little misty-eyed…

Arrived at LP’s small airport and made a beeline for Immigration. Laos does “visa-on-arrival” which I’d done when I visited Siem Reap a couple of years ago (Cambodia now has an online visa system, which makes it way easier; Laos is implementing one this year, I believe), so I knew I wanted to be at the front of the line so I could make it through quickly.

And I did! Things went very smoothly. The two immigration officers at my counter started off in the typical serious and unsmiling manner shared by customs officials all over the world – which is fine! They aren’t CS agents, after all. But after verifying that I wasn’t an undesirable who’d be denied leave-to-enter, they began quizzing me about my beard, how long it took me to grow it, etc. They were all smiles, as friendly as could be and quite fascinated with my beard – which, let’s face it, IS pretty impressive. It was a nice welcome to Laos!

My hotel had sent a shuttle to collect me and soon enough, I was checked in to my lovely and spacious room at the Kiridara Hotel. The place is located a bit outside of town, which turned out to be mostly OK, especially since there are bikes available for guests to borrow. The property is quite beautiful, built into a hillside and looking down toward the Mekong River and the surrounding countryside.

My room was large and comfortable, though the space wasn’t used as well as one might hope. There really wasn’t much of a workspace – which, granted, this is a resort not a business hotel, but there wasn’t anywhere comfortable to set up my laptop – yet there was a ton of wasted space near the closets that would’ve been the perfect spot for a small desk.

There was also a huge terrace – though it was right next to the pool. There were some plants separating the terrace from the pool area, but it wasn’t as private as one might hope. But the view was really great. Well, except for the huge mansion down the road that looked something like Graceland East. It was wildly out of place (it belongs to a wealthy Laotian construction company owner, according to a shuttle driver I met later that week) with its Greek columns and pediments – though in a nod to local culture, there were also several huge bronze elephant statues flanking the entry gate. Kudos to the hotel though for planting a thicket of bamboo in a moderately successful attempt to obscure this mega-home from view.

Had dinner at the hotel – it was just OK (breakfast was similarly uninspiring for the rest of my visit), though my cocktail was very tasty: a Lao-jito!

Up early the next morning to head into town and meet up with my bike tour to Kuang Si Falls, about an 18 mile ride outside of town. I’d been very excited to do this ride, though I’d had a bit of a quandary booking the tour with Tiger Trail Adventures: I could pay double and go on a private tour, i.e. me and a guide or – if some other folks signed up for the tour during my stay in LP – join the group tour. I’d been checking with Tiger Trail regularly and it was just the day before that they told me a group was going on Friday. Perfect! Or so I thought…

Now, don’t get me wrong – the tour was fantastic. The ride out there through the countryside is absolutely gorgeous. Plus it was a nice long ride and included a few challenging-but-doable hills along the way. And our guide, Cha, was very good.

But, as an experienced cyclist, it wound up being disappointing since our slowest riders ultimately set the pace of the trip. Actually, that’s not quite true – Cha and I were typically way out in front together (though even he had to walk his bike up one of the hills that I cycled up with relative east – all my riding at home through SF’s hilly terrain paid off!), with the nice Finnish couple in the middle and bringing up the rear, an older couple from Idaho and our other guide. The couple were not experienced cyclists.

Far be it from me to tell people what they can and cannot do on vacation – but if you don’t ride regularly, does it really make sense to sign up for a riding tour that goes for 18 miles and includes hills? And while they weren’t the worst tourists I’ve ever encountered, they were very American in their demeanor, so not exactly my favorites.

Ultimately, it just meant that we had to stop every now and again to wait (sometimes for quite a while) for the rear guard to catch up. Not the end of the world – but had I been on my own, we probably could’ve made it to the falls in two hours rather than the three-and-a-half it actually took.

Again, though, I was particularly grateful for our guide letting me set a fast pace for us up in front. It was a really wonderful morning – the scenery of course and putting some serious miles in the saddle, which is always so good for me physically and mentally.

One of our stops along the way was at a local silk shop. A very friendly merchant ran the place – though for me, the highlight was the absolutely adorable puppy who was probably only a couple of months old. She was fluffy and playful and loved being around people. She was gamboling – gamboling I tell you! – and just a delightful little furball that I wish I could’ve smuggled home in my suitcase.

Once at the falls – which despite being a huge tourist draw were not overwhelmingly crowded – we walked up through the forest path to the main falls and gawked and gazed and took photos. They really are lovely.

Walked a bit further down to one of the pools where swimming is permitted. The water was pretty chilly but it was a refreshing and the water was pristine.

Next, some lunch at a local place back near the entrance, before riding down to the Mekong River. We boarded a boat for a leisurely trip back to town. As is so often the case with boat rides of any sort, it was a bit longer than I’d’ve liked – but it was relaxing and certainly much nicer than being in a mini-van. Personally, I’d’ve been happy to get some more time riding – but even so, it was a really wonderful day and I highly recommend this tour.

The rest of my stay in LP was pretty laid-back. Spent some time by the hotel pool. Made regular use of the bicycles-for-loan from the hotel to get into town.

Had a couple of very nice meals at Pha Khao Lao – well, actually the same two meals: larb meatballs which were delicious! Owners are a husband and wife – he’s from UK, she’s Lao. He was very friendly and took great care of me on my second visit, making sure I got to try some of the local sausage along with my meatballs. A really charming place with such good food and a friendly local staff.

I also had a couple of meals at Le Banneton, a French bakery at the eastern end of LP’s main drag. It was a wonderful spot to relax and watch people go by or just take in the temple across the road. A very yummy jambon-beurre sandwich was the highlight, especially the good quality baguette. Pastries were tasty, though some of them seemed to suffer texture-wise from the local heat and humidity.

I was really just delighted with my visit to Luang Prabang. I think I was expecting something more overwhelmingly touristy and that’s not how it felt to me at all. Granted, I avoided the sunrise crush of tourists thronging the local monks collecting alms each morning. Everything I’d read about it made it sound both overwhelming and often disrespectful – though it is a huge draw for tourists. I’m sure it’s fascinating, but the cons seemed to outweigh the pros.

Really, the only thing that I ultimately didn’t like about my stay was my hotel. Granted, it was a lovely property – but beyond that, it fell short in many areas. The bikes – which I loved having use of – were not particularly well-maintained, many with squishy brakes. The shuttle to town didn’t seem to hew to the posted schedule – which is not the end of the world, but there was never any communication from the staff about when/if the shuttle was leaving or arriving. The staff in general were very friendly – but seemed unequipped to respond to anything other than the most basic requests.

Case in point: my last day was Monday and my flight was at 5PM. I asked for a late check-out at 2PM and was refused since, the fellow at the front desk explained, the entire hotel was fully booked for Monday. Fair enough – though I did ask if they expected all the guest to arrive at precisely 2PM, the stated check-in time. I didn’t really get a response.

There were a variety of things I could have been offered: use of a different room; access to a shower and changing room; a compromise of 1PM check-out – but there was nothing. Just repeatedly being advised that I had to be out of my room at noon.

And so I was! I hung out by the pool reading (though not swimming, since all my bags were packed and I wouldn’t have any place to shower and change before my flight) for a couple of hours. When I did leave at 2PM for the airport, not a single guest had checked into the hotel. Furthermore, the couple in the room immediately above mine gathered their luggage and checked-out – at 2PM.

Then I had to wait around for the hotel shuttle to the airport, with no advice as to why it was now 15 minutes after I’d scheduled my ride and I was still sitting by the front desk with my luggage and various staff members hanging around. I finally inquired and got to the airport with plenty of time – but the whole experience on my last day at the hotel was really poor. I have to say, as beautiful as the property is, I probably wouldn’t recommend it.

But Luang Prabang? Don’t miss it! Really just a wonderful spot that I hope to visit again soon.

Approaching Luang Prabang

View from my terrace

Rancho Relaxo

Lao-jito

Carts

In town

Alley

Lil’ Pooper

Lanterns

Market

Chiles

Citrus

Rainbow

Cold one

Larb meatballs

On the road to Kuang Si Falls

Guide and group

Fields

Farmer

Watering

Gray sky

Hill

Vee

Laborers

Rubber tree sap

Countryside

Pit stop

Town

Kiddo

Sign

OMG!

BFFs

Mekong

Road

Farmland

A gorgeous day

Fence

Market

Forest

Kuang Si Falls

Sunbeams

Cascade

Bridge

Swimming

Doggo

Headed home

Back to town by boat

Our guide, Cha

Pooped!

Jamon beurre

Lunch companion

Lemongrass mojito

Main drag in town

Palace building

Touring Phnom Penh

Phnom Penh, Cambodia – 13 & 14 November 2018

Tuk-tuks are ubiquitous in Phnom Penh, just like in many other cities in Asia. They are charmingly photogenic and generally inexpensive – but honestly, not the most comfortable way to travel. But oh well – when in Rome and all.

So, off I went in a tuk-tuk for the 15 minute ride (per Google Maps) to meet up with this evening’s food tour of Phnom Penh. Even with the 15 minute buffer I’d added, the trip was frustratingly slow thanks to the usual cuckoo traffic. But I made it just about on time and met my guide for the evening, Vanarith at the appointed location near Olympic Stadium. Happily, I was the first to arrive, so I didn’t feel so bad about being a bit behind schedule.

The two other women joining our tour showed up a few minutes after that and, I’ll confess, I was initially leery. They were Western and I assumed American – so I was prepping myself for some eyeroll-inducing cluelessness. Instead, it turned out they were Canadian and I heaved a big sigh of relief. We had something else very much in common, as I was to find out later…

Anyway, we explored a bit of Olympic Stadium, which is much different in the evening compared to my visit that morning. Not only were there a bunch of food carts and vendors selling their wares, locals turn out for semi-organized dance rehearsals. It’s kind of like a community Zumba? Anyway, it was super fun to watch but I declined the opportunity to participate.

We grabbed a table near the food carts and our guide ordered a bunch of stuff. Now, here’s where I have to confess – I did a terrible job documenting either with notes or photos all of the food we tried over the course of the evening. And further confession – while it was all tasty, none of it bowled me over, though this was pretty much the case with most of the food I ate while in Phnom Penh. Now, don’t get me wrong – nothing was bad. I think it’s just that compared to Vietnam and Thailand, I didn’t eat any Cambodian food that was particularly memorable, even though it was all good and freshly prepared.

Now, this should also not be considered a knock on this particular tour. In some ways, I think it was my favorite of my visit – thanks largely to the good chemistry between our guide and my two new friends from Canada. Vanarith was extraordinarily engaging – he knew plenty about the food we were eating of course, but shared wide-ranging information about local life, Cambodia’s history, the changing face of Phnom Penh. He’s a great guide!

At some point during the evening, I shared email or IG or something with Tania and Arielle and thanks to my highly-Jewish surname, we discovered we are all descendants of Abraham. Yes, yes, I’m still a devout atheist, but am most certainly culturally Jewish. And of course, all three of us swung right into action, teaching Yiddish to Vanarith. “Oy vey,” “fakakta” and “schvitzing” all made the list and he was an impressive student – though “schvitzing” proved particularly challenging to pronounce.

I had so much fun yakking with everyone, that I didn’t take as many photos as I’d’ve liked – but that’s quite indicative of how much I enjoyed this tour.

The next morning I was up early since I had to be back in the center of town for a bike tour that started just before 8:00AM. It sounded like it might be raining a bit, so I opened the draperies to check the weather and it was POURING. Like crazy buckets and cats-and-dogs raining. I was semi-relieved since I kinda wanted to go back to bed – but then remembered I’d already paid for the tour and they expect you to show up rain or shine since weather can change quickly.

And sure enough, by the time I was on my way, the rain had completely cleared up. I got to Grasshopper and we were on our way soon enough – me, a Swedish couple, a young Tunisian man who lives in Qatar and our guide.

First we rode along the river on a nice paved bike and pedestrian path – though constructed of some kind of slippery material, so I managed to halfway wipeout on our way to the ferry to cross the river. Oopsie! I guess I was being punished for the hubris of bringing my own helmet…

Made across the river and started our ride on paved and then gravely roads. All was AOK! Then we got to the unpaved portion of the tour…

Hoo boy! After that mornings torrential downpour, there were mud and puddles everywhere. It was challenging going to say the least. I did OK, particularly once I gave up and accepted the fact that I was going to end the ride covered in mud from head to toe. This realization really sunk in (no pun intended) when I had to put my foot down to keep my balance and I want calf-deep into the mud.

Ultimately, it was really kind of hilarious. I mean, sure, the paths were quite treacherous in a couple of spots but I survived. I think I felt worst for the other solo rider. He didn’t seem an especially experienced cyclist and rather than steering around puddles, he’d attempt to power right through them – and they often turned out to be quite a bit deeper than they appeared. I think he was knee-deep in mud more than once. At one point during the ride, I think he was trying to shake some of the mud out of his gears by braking the bike hard – but he did so using only the front brake and managed to send himself ass-over-handlebars onto the paved road we were on. Happily (and somewhat shockingly) he sustained no injuries.

We stopped at small silk weaving outfit, which was quite fascinating to watch – especially for the very intricately patterned fabric that one weaver was working on for a bride. There was also a super friendly doggo there, so that was an extra bonus!

Once we’d gotten past the worst of the mud, things went more smoothly. The countryside was very pretty and we spent a bit of time exploring a local temple complex while waiting for another boat. We ended with lunch back in the city. Sure, I was filthy and smelly, but it was a pretty great half-day in the saddle.

I’d wisely booked a massage appointment for that afternoon, back at Bodia Spa – and let me just say, they were just as welcoming and gracious as on my previous visit, despite my monstrous and filthy appearance. And I was able to have a nice hot shower before my massage, so by the time I left two hours later, I felt absolutely fantastic!

Headed back to my hotel and had a quiet evening in, while I packed and got ready to leave in the morning. Next stop: Luang Prabang!

The best thing I saw from my tuk tuk

Nom nom nom

Dinner

Fish

Foodies

Kitteh

Bike tour morning

After the rain

Doggo

So friendly!

Nap time

Colors

Weaver

A dirty job…

What a ride!

Waiting for our boat

Temple

Hi!

Bikes

My ride

Our guide, looking fresh as a daisy.

Friendly neighborhood Spiderman

Lunch!

We survived!

Local kitty

My neighbor

So long, Phnom Penh!

A Day on Bikes in the Mekong Delta

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam – 9 & 10 November 2018

When I’d visited Saigon last year with Ak, we’d contemplated taking what sounded like a great bike tour down in the Mekong Delta with Grasshopper Adventures. However, the weather was iffy and the prospect of driving in a minivan for two hours only to ride around on bikes in the rain sounded less than ideal.

So, I was determined to make the trip this time, not least because the weather had been delightful and not too hot (by southern Vietnam standards). Of course, the fly in the ointment was my traveling solo – there needed to be at least one other person signed up for the trip if it was going to take place.

I’d submitted a request a month prior to my trip and there were no tours available during my stay. Amazingly, though, two days into my trip, I got an email from Grasshopper Adventures that a tour was available for Friday. Hooray!

I showed up at the designated meeting point and met, Dat, our guide for the day and two fellows from So Cal, Albert and George, friends since high school and regular travel buddies. We piled into our minivan and made it to our starting point in about 90 minutes.

Well! I’d not really known what to expect, especially after my friend Vu had warned me to be prepared for a super touristy experience. I suspect this may be true at the floating market or some other destinations in the area, but we really spent the entire visit as the only foreigners around, pedaling our way through gorgeously lush countryside and narrow paths shaded by banana and palm trees. It was really one of the best bike riding tours I’ve been on.

One of our first stops was at a local home factory where they made straw mats that Vietnamese use for sleeping and sitting. I was a little leery at first, since so often stops like these on tours are really about the gift shop. Not this time! This was a genuine local workshop and we got to see the folks producing the mats while Dat explained to us the economics of the product and the history of this particular workshop. We met the 82-year-old matriarch (with whom I foolishly neglected to take a photo!), who’d only just recently retired from running the show and handed the reins over to her son-in-law. She was pleased to meet us and Dat interpreted for us as she thanked us for coming to visit. Her grandson (or maybe great grandson?) was also there and practiced his very-good English with Albert. Everyone we met there was delightful and welcoming and it was wonderful.

Rode some more, passing by duck farms, herb farms and the occasional cow. Our next stop was a cocoa bean farm. Dat walked us through the whole tree-to-bean process, as we ambled through a grove of cocoa trees before visiting the main part of the farm where the beans were harvested and prepped. The cocoa pods contain white-fleshed lobes of fruit, each with a bean inside. We tasted the fresh fruit and saw the various stages of the beans as they are dried and peeled. The smell of the place was like a strong dark chocolate along with a fermented edge. We tasted the dried beans which was as expected, a sharp bitter chocolate.

We met the farm owner, who shared a shot of chocolate booze with us – it was very similar to sherry or port. The farmer works directly with Maison Marou, a Vietnamese chocolatier started by a French company. The maison produces chocolates all sourced from several regions in Vietnam, making both bars and fancy boxed chocolates.

It was a wonderful visit – and again, it was really focused on learning a bit about this farmer, his work and his crop rather than an opportunity to hard sell some gewgaws to tourists. Obviously I’ll be making a trip to Maison Marou once I’m back in Saigon to pick up some of the single-source chocolate bars made from the beans on this very farm.

We continued our ride and the countryside remained glorious. Since we we were all three keeping a good pace with Dat, he took us on a little roundabout route to our lunch destination so we could get some more time in the saddle.

Lunch was at a private home that was also a small farm. Our meal was prepared from ingredients harvested locally and it was delicious. I mean, it was delicious in and of itself – but after a long ride, we were all pretty famished and wolfed down just about everything in sight: fried rolls, stir-fried beef, greens, pork and vegetable soup, fruit and plenty of rice.

We also met some adorable baby boars frolicking near their parent’s sty – and I just pretended that I hadn’t eaten their siblings for lunch. Awkward… but still delicious.

Next we needed to board a boat – but our captain was apparently a bit behind schedule, so we wandered a local wholesale fruit market nearby. As happens frequently, my beard was a source of mirth and fascination for some of the locals. According to Dat, one of the ladies selling oranges thought I was quite the handsome devil! A woman of good taste clearly.

Soon enough, our long boat arrived and we spent a little bit of time on the Mekong. Initially we were one of the several tributaries in this region, but shortly we made our way out into the main artery. It’s huge! Really amazing sight.

Another great part of this trip was that the boat ride was a reasonable length – about half an hour, I’d say. It was enough time to see the river and enjoy the breeze but didn’t even approach the “OMG, when are we ever getting off this boat?” territory.

Piled into the van and headed back to HCMC. What an amazing day! It was such a great ride and Dat was a really excellent guide – plus Albert and George were great touring companions and we were all keeping up the pace with each other. I really lucked out with this

Had dinner at a relatively unmemorable place down the road from my hotel. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. Another early evening and slept like a baby, thanks to today’s ride.

Saturday, I was tempted to try to head back to District 4 for my favorite pho – but Pho Minh is right next door to my hotel and serves very tasty pho plus pate chaud! Convenience won out and I am OK with that.

The rest of the day was dedicated to treating myself and a little shopping. I checked out Mayhem, a vintage shop that’s apparently all the rage. Looked like the women’s section was fairly well-stocked – but the men’s was a little ho-hum for my tastes.

Next stop: Maison Marou, the chocolate shop that sells the bars of chocolates made from the cocoa beans of the farmer I met during my tour of the Mekong Delta. Wow! The shop and cafe is delightful. Besides the single-source bars, they also have fancy boxed chocolates with fillings like Vietnamese coffee and coconut. The prices were also amazingly reasonable, so I stocked up on treats to bring back home with me.

Wrapped up my time in HCMC with a Sunday morning visit to Unification Palace. I’d explored the entire place last year, but I still think this is one of the most gorgeous examples of modern architecture, so I had another wander about, taking photos inside and out. And before I knew it, it was time to get back to the hotel and head to the airport. Next stop: Phnom Penh!