Move Over, Kate and Wills!

So, I think we’ve all heard about (and been creeped out by) the recent marriage of 51-year old actor Doug Hutchinson (if you look up “pervy old dude” in the dictionary, you’ll see his photo. Also, he has an anus mouth) and 16-year old Courtney Stoddard (yes, she is actually 16, despite looking like a 40-something OC divorcĂ©e and plastic surgery buff). And it comes as no surprise that they are trolling for a reality show – because, as we all know, appearing on TV – no matter how horrible, desperate, despicable or dimwitted one is portrayed – is the only true measure of success in these United States.

Anyway, the lovebirds (vom) have been giving interviews left and right, declaring their deep and genuine love for one another. And this animated GIF is mesmerizing. Is she having a series of small strokes? Is she being “sexy” (and doing a really fine job of it!)? Is she just so ecstatic over her good-fortune in marrying such a magnificent specimen? Did she just have dental work done and the Novocaine hasn’t worn off? All of these? I don’t know! But I can’t stop watching…