Memorial Day and I had a craving for a carnitas burrito – specifically, a carnitas burrito from Gordo Taqueria. The sun was shining (though there was a stiff breeze), so onto my bike and off to the Sunset. I figure the 8-mile round trip ride would counteract a goodly portion of the pork-cooked-in-lard-which-therefore-makes-it-extra-delicious burrito.
Golden Gate Park was surprisingly quiet for a holiday, so I was somewhat displeased to find Gordo’s to be very crowded. But the line wasn’t too long and I managed to get the last little table.
But wait, what’s going on here? It finally became clear why the place was so crowded. Of the ten tables in the place, fully half were occupied by a group of 16 or so rubes tourists from Indiana (judging by the plethora of apparel emblazoned with their state’s name – I guess in case they get lost?).
Now, I get that tourism is a huge part of the SF economy. And I applaud these folks for finding there way to a really excellent taqueria rather than lining up at the Cheesecake Factory. But…
First of all, that’s too large of a party to take to such a small place. Imagine the poor schmuck behind them who has to wait in line while all 16 of them hem and haw and ask questions and panic over the salsa being too spicy and deciding who’s paying for whom. All he wanted was his usual “regular carnitas with cheese and guacamole, spicy” and now he’ll have to wait 20 minutes just to order it.
Second of all, if you are going to show up at a tiny place like this with your inappropriately large party, you need to get that shit to go. You’re literally half a block from Golden Gate Park. Have a picnic! Eat and walk! Anything other than pushing tables together, moving chairs around and hogging up half the space in the tiny establishment!
Third of all, if you do selfishly decide to take up half the tables in the place, you need to eat those burritos stat and the get the fuck out. Don’t sit around, sipping your sodas and shootin’ the breeze, deciding where you ought to go next. You’re not in a cafe in Paris – you’re in a very small and busy taqueria that is frequented largely by couples and Mary Ann Singleton’s who just want to sit, wolf down a burrito and get on with their lives.
Fourth of all, when you do finally clear out, be sure to leave the tables and chairs that you’ve rearranged all willy-nilly all over the place and don’t bus your tables or throw away your trash. Let someone else take care of that for you…
Fifth of all, Jesus H. Christ!
But, to end on a happy note, here’s a photo of my sweet ride. Je t’aime, ma belle bicyclette!