Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

So, sitting at home the other night, minding my own business and cuddling with my kitty, when I hear the knockety-knock from my computer – someone is messaging me on Facebook! Who could it be? And what important news have they to impart?

Here is the message I received verbatim:

This is my Facebook impression of you:

I have a cat but no sex sometimes I eat food and I went to Paris.
I have a cat.
I have a cat.
Look at my cat.

Sigh. Tempting though it might have been to protest this characterization, I really had no alternative but to respond thusly: