Me? Single? Yes, how did you know?

So, attempting to scrounge up dates is the worst. It’s almost as bad as actually going on them! UGH.

Anyhoo, in these modern times, online date trolling seems to be the only marginally-effective avenue for meeting potential mates. So, I give it the old college try. Have met a few nice fellows, though thus far all of the friend-zone variety. I’ve also had some good online chats. Such as this…

Me: Oh, what are you studying?

Him: Interior design and architecture. I just finished my first year. [Ed. note: This is adult education. He is not a 19-year-old. I’m not insane] Five more to go.

Me: That’s a lot of school just to karate-chop pillows and throw a bunch of tchotchkes around.

Him: But one major is a B.A. and the other is a B.S.

Me: Bachelor of Arts & Bachelor of Slipcovers?

Someone really needs to explain to me again why I remain single…