August 2017 – It's a Complete Outrage

More from Bangkok

Woke up early and we were contemplating getting a massage at Wat Pho before breakfast in the guest house cafe – just a nice leisurely morning. But then we both said, “Eff that – let’s get the luggage into a taxi and get over to Le Méridien, with its delightfully cool and pleasantly-scented lobby and its large rooms outfitted with luxurious bed linens and Toto Washlets and fancy shampoo.” And so we did!

And you know what? Returning to Le Meridien was even better than I expected. As soon as we walked into the lobby, several of the staff recognized us and welcomed us back as if they’d just seen us yesterday, not six months prior. This is why I love to come to this hotel – the service is both impeccable and effortless.

Anyway, once we were checked in and bags were upstairs, we had time for breakfast in the neighborhood at my favorite place for moo dang noodles – having a favorite local place for breakfasts is really one of the things I love about returning to any city I’ve visited before. I had a little time to wander around Silom and get settled into the room – and then it was time for lunch, obviously.

Ak was at work, so I met him near his office – conveniently located about a 15 minute walk from our hotel. I had a quick look around the Mariamman Temple, but I was too lazy to take off my shoes and explore inside, so I just enjoyed the exterior views.

Lunch was at a local hole-in-the-wall serving excellent massaman curry (along with some fish cakes). I’m really lucky to have Ak acting as my local guide every time I visit Bangkok – I get to eat the best food, most of which I’d never find on my own.

I spent the afternoon mall-hopping – and once again scoring some great local t-shirts at Terminal 21. As satisfying as my shopping expedition was, let’s be honest – I was really just killing time until my next meal. And tonight’s meal was at my favorite local place in Bangkok, Jae Koi. And I’d never have learned about this place on my own, so thanks again Ak!

Since my last visit, Jae Koy has really upped their ambiance game: AC to go along with the glaring fluorescent lights and metal tables and stools! Frankly, the addition of AC was great – but the food here is so good, who cares? Ak’s friends Koi and Jesse joined us for dinner – another boon since it meant ordering even more food. We had BBQ chicken, larb, tom yum, clams, grilled beef and som tum – and maybe a few beers to wash it all down. The damage for this feast? THB830 – which is about USD25. Amazing.

Thursday I visited the Museum of Contemporary Art. It was rather a schlep to get there, as it’s located out toward Chatuchak Market and involves taking both the subway AND a taxi. The building itself is rather impressive – though the galleries inside were mostly bereft of natural light.

As for the collection? Well, let’s just they could easily re-christen this place the Museum of Contemporary Bewbz. There A LOT of boobs on display! Don’t get me wrong – I have no issues with boobs. But they really seemed to be over-represented in this large collection. This made a bit more sense, I guess, when I learned later that the museum was created by a local billionaire as a place to show off his large collection of art – and his particular aesthetic was quite clearly on display in this museum.

Back into town for lunch with Ak, which was unmemorable despite going to a well-reputed place for khao moo dang. Lucky for me though, I had time for a quick snack beforehand: a street cart serving up potato slices deep-fried to order, then covered with the two flavor mixes of your choice. I got larb and spicy and it was awesome.

Spent the afternoon at Dahra Spa and got an amazing massage at a great price – and for three hours! It’s just a short walk from Le Méridien, so I’ll definitely be visiting them again next time I’m in Bangkok.

That evening, Ak and I headed out the Rot Fai Night Market. SO MUCH FOOD! It was pretty difficult to decide what to get – plus it was a little confusing to me how things worked. For example, there are lots of little sitting areas, but apparently one is only allowed to sit in them when eating food from that particular vendor – but it was never quite clear to me which one went with what. And somebody who shall remain nameless (but whose name rhymes with Wak…) grew tired of all my questions and got a bit snippy. But we managed to work things out in the traditional manner – by eating more food…

While it already felt like I’d been on vacation a long time, the weekend was fast approaching. Just a few more days (by which I mean meals) until I’d be winging my way back home. I’d better make the most of it!

My favorite!

The pause that refreshes…

Hi, neighbor!

Moo dang

Selfie with selfie

Massaman curry

Seems up to code

Jae Koy

Kitchen

Ice cold beer

Larb

Meat

Som tum

Soup

Gai yang

Cockles

MOCA

Bewbz

Light

Pictures

Painting

Art

Sculpture

Potatoes!

So good

Khao moo dang

Night market

Snack

Ribs

Grill

Noodles

Dessert

I’m in Bangkok Again!

The trip from Koh Lipe and Pak Bara back to Hat Yai airport passed rather slowly, but uneventfully. Had some decent moo dang noodles at the airport while we waited for our flight to Bangkok – and then followed it up with some Dairy Queen. I try to keep things real and local, so I got a Matcha Blizzard…

Upon landing at Don Mueang International, we had important business to address once we’d collected our luggage: locating the airport’s branch of Cha Tra Mue, purveyors of Thailand’s most famous tea and one of only two locations serving their newly-introduced Thai iced tea soft serve ice cream! The other location is at Terminal 21 shopping mall in Bangkok – and is apparently so busy, the ice cream machine regularly conks out – so sampling this rare new delicacy in the uncrowded DMK location was quite a treat!

Soon on our way to the Hansar Guest House, across from Wat Pho. I’d gotten an email about this little guest house after staying at the fancy Hansar Hotel last year and I really liked the idea of spending my first few days in the old part of Bangkok, near the river and Grand Palace. The Hansar Guest House was not easy to find – it seemed to have three different names and also no sign, plus the entrance was through a coffee shop. A little exasperating.

As for the place? WELL. It was actually fine – for an inexpensive guest house. However, as it turns out, inexpensive guest houses are not really my thing… The place was very clean and the beds comfortable – but it was simply a room with two beds. No closet, no dresser, no fancy soap. The bathroom was OK, though small and basic. So, there was not a single thing wrong with the place, especially for less than US$40 per night – but I learned that I prefer a bit more in the way of both space and furnishings than was on offer here.

The location was great though. On Monday, I walked to the Grand Palace and visited the Queen Sirikit Museum of Textiles. I’d been here once before on my first visit to Thailand – and it was just as impressive a second time, showing a different cross-section of the Queen’s lovely wardrobe. As beautiful as the evening gowns were, I was most fascinated by the day wear – simply cut suits and dresses that were perfectly constructed from gorgeous fabrics, many designed by Pierre Balmain just for the Queen. It’s so fascinating to see work like this up close. No photos allowed – so make sure to stop by when you’re in Bangkok!

The other place in Old Town I was looking forward to re-visiting was Pai Spa, home of my first ever Thai massage. I was able to make an appointment with Jin, my therapist from my first visit – and she remains as skilled I remembered. This remains one of my favorite spas in Bangkok – and price-to-value ratio is unbelievably good.

Dinner with Ak that night at Inn-A-Day, another old favorite and just as tasty as always.

I wasn’t sure what to do with myself on Tuesday, but I found an interesting sounding walking tour of Chinatown with Co Van Kessel. Sadly, no one else had signed up for the tour that day – but they had a bike tour instead. So, off I went!

It was an OK tour. The ride through Chinatown’s maze of tiny streets was a lot of fun – though it was also a bit frustrating that we didn’t get to stop and look more often (one of the nice things about walking tours!). We crossed Chao Phraya on a boat and toured one of the city’s many wats – and I saw plenty of temple kitties, which was obviously a highlight!

Probably my main complaint about the tour was its size – any more than six to eight people starts to feel a bit much and I think we had 14? There were also three young men on the tour whose behavior served to remind me that straight white male privilege is not a uniquely American attribute. But I digress…

I enjoyed a wander back through Chinatown and Little India after the ride And I even managed to squeeze in two hours of massage at Wat Pho before heading back to the guest house and having shower.

Drinks that evening with Ak at Bamboo Bar at The Oriental, followed by a very yummy dinner at a starkly-lit neighborhood place near Chinatown. I also managed to impress Ak with my ability to discern exactly what was happening in the scene of Thai soap opera playing on the TV in the restaurant. Every time I’d make some observation about a character’s motives or background, he’d ask, “How on earth did you know that? You can’t understand what they’re saying!” Soap operas – the international language, apparently.

Our last night in Old Town. We were both looking forward to returning the next morning to Le Meridien, my home-away-from-home in Bangkok.

Arriving at DMK

Thai tea ice cream!

Noodles

Pork

Elephants

Tourist

Cat!

Khao San Rd. is a “nope”

No thanks!

Larb

Thai ice tea

Flowers

“Hey! I’m wallkin’ here!”

Lunch

Bottles

Posing

Buddha

Sky

Ribbons

Vessel

Temple

Curry

Larb

Rolls

Morning in Old Town

Trees

Tigers

Columns

Golden

Flower market

Dozing

Chiles

“How much?”

Dragon

Trio

Tropical

On guard

Hi there!

Family

Shy

O HAI!

Market

Star anise

Foo

Alley

Kitteh!

Chinatown

Zzzzzz…

Bamboo bar

Greens

Seafood

Fish

A Few Days in Koh Lipe

Our flight from Singapore to Hat Yai went relatively smoothly, other than my snapping at one of the Tiger Air staffers telling me my bag couldn’t be carried on board as it was “too big.” I snapped back that I had paid to board early and that it would fit in the overhead – which of course it did because I’m not an idiot.

We landed at Hat Yai and in the short time it took us to collect my checked bag and get to the taxi stand, it started pouring – like crazy, biblical pouring. The airport was mobbed and getting a taxi arranged was surprisingly easy despite the pandemonium surrounding us. The rain quickly passed and we were soon at Red Planet, our home for the night before heading onto Koh Lipe.

I’d booked the place ages ago, apparently while feeling parsimonious and unwilling to spring for the extra US$40 to stay at the fancy place down the road. There was nothing really wrong with the place at all – though it was rather barebones and the room was quite a bit less soundproofed than one might have hoped. The room held two beds, a TV and a safe, along with a bathroom stocked with two towels and a soap dispenser mounted to the wall of the shower. Eh, it was fine.

And, as is typically my experience in Thailand, the staff were lovely. The young woman who checked us in was kind enough to bend the rules for me and store one of my bags for the four days we’d be in Koh Lipe – made schlepping to and from the boat so much easier. And our broken safe was fixed within about five minutes of calling to report the problem.

Once we settled in, it seemed like a good idea to get a massage – and so we did! Happily, Thai Odyssey is just next door to our hotel and it was a very nice little place with excellent service and great prices. Our therapists were very good – though as is often the case when I travel with Ak, they assumed Ak was farang as well and were quite shocked when he spoke to them in Thai. It certainly makes things easier for me having Ak around to translate my instructions – though the Thai word for “sciatica” proved to be a stumper.

For dinner, we went to a dim sum place Ak knew about called Kor Nang Tae Tiem, which was conveniently right behind our hotel. I was a bit confused at first: out front was a big display of little dishes on ice of all sorts of stuff that didn’t look much like dim sum, as there were no dumplings – but then right behind that were stacks and stacks of bamboo steamer baskets, reassuringly filled with dumplings. Rather than ordering from the table or a pushcart, we just picked out everything we wanted and it was steamed to order! I even recognized the word “moo dang” (that’s Thai for barbecued pork) when the proprietor was describing the dumplings and yelled, “Chai, krab! Chai, krab!” (“Yes, please! Yes, please!). I’m so Thai…

As we waited for our large variety of selections to finish steaming, I wondered aloud to Ak about the prices. Given how reasonable prices were, I figured it’d be THB70 to 100 per dish – that’s about US$2 to $3. I was astonished when he told me everything was THB16 each. In other words, about fifty cents a plate!

Everything was delicious, too. It’d been a long day, what with sitting around the lounge at Changi Airport and getting those long massages – we’d really worked up an appetite. So much so that a Round 2 of plates was clearly in order. This was one of my favorite meals of this whole trip.

In fact, we loved it so much, we were back the next morning for breakfast! Happily they open early and we were able to stuff ourselves with more dim sum before we were picked up for the two-hour drive to Pak Bara, where we’d take a boat to Koh Lipe. The drive and the boat trip were both uneventful, save for the rather chaotic atmosphere of the ferry terminal in Pak Bara. I was convinced our bags would not wind up on the same boat as we did – but I’m happy to report not only did they make it, they were not dropped in the water when being unloaded.

The arrival on Koh Lipe is a decidedly low-tech affair: all of the boats from the mainland back up to Pattaya Beach and passengers jump off into knee deep water and wade ashore. Let’s just say I was glad I knew this was the drill before boarding the boat, so I was well-prepared wearing my Keen lesbian sandals.

A scooter with a sidecar took us and our bags on the short trip to our hotel, the Idyllic Concept Resort. There were a couple of small hills to drive over – which required to our driver to gun it and really get up some speed so that the tiny scooter could get all three of us plus luggage to the crest. It was rather exhilarating…

As for the hotel? Well, let’s just say all my research had paid off. Ak and I both loved it. It was really on the nicest stretch of Sunrise Beach – the views in the morning were spectacular. We had an “iSky” room, which meant we were beachfront. Everything was really comfortable – lovely service from all of the friendly and gracious staff, but still a laidback feel.

And the food! I figured the food would be fine – as it turned out, it was excellent. Not like “oh, this is pretty good for hotel food” but “if this were in Bangkok, it would be on my list of favorite restaurants.” Their larb moo may have been my favorite that I’ve had anywhere. The breakfast was probably the weakest link – but it’s a buffet and leaned a bit more Western, which was not their strongest suit. But we wound up eating all of our meals here, thanks not just to the great food, but the beautiful setting, with plenty of outdoor tables, some directly on the beach.

I think it was on our last evening that we were seated near a group of tourists who’d just arrived. They were being very particular about what they ordered – and by “particular,” I mean “annoying.” And they were ordering PASTA! Like fettucine alfredo or something! I mean, who flies halfway around the world to sit on a beautiful beach in Thailand and then orders Western food? Then they made ordering ice cream for dessert into a confusing ordeal, again addressing their server with condescension. Surprisingly, they were not Americans…

Anyway, we did wander into “town” one day for a bit of exploring and had a few drinks at a place over on Sunset Beach to compare and contrast (verdict: sunrise is better) – but mostly we just hung out on the beach every day, reading, swimming and making friends with a handful of beach dogs (including an adorable young ‘un we christened “Sandy”) who call this section home. It was, for lack of a better word, idyllic and I could not have asked for a better spot to get in some serious relaxing time.

We did venture out for a snorkel trip I’d booked long before our visit with an outfit called Paradise Tours. Unfortunately, I would not recommend them. They contacted me two days before I left U.S., asking for my deposit which I’d made months earlier. I was engaged in a back-and-forth in the middle of the night via email with them. They did find the payment, but it was irritating and their initial tone was tinged with accusation. Once in Koh Lipe, when we presented ourselves at their office in town the morning of our tour, a surly woman told me how much I still owed in addition to my deposit – no “hello” or “thank you” or even any eye contact.

And to top everything off? After all of that agita and my reservation made ages in advance, they did not take us on the tour I’d chosen and paid for – a longer tour with stops at Monkey Island and several other locations a bit farther from Koh Lipe. They did refund part of my payment when I complained – but it didn’t really make up for the fact that I didn’t get what I thought I’d planned out so carefully in advance.

At any rate, the trip was quite nice once we got going. It seems the tour company just acts as a middleman for the locals piloting the boats, so off we went with our guide and captain for the day, along with a Japanese couple and their adorable 4-year-old daughter, Miko. She was quite taken with me and insisted on holding my hand on the walk to the beach, where we all piled into a traditional long tailed boat. She also practiced her very competent English and demonstrated particular facility with, “Hello! Nice to meet you.”

It appeared that our various snorkel destinations were the standard Koh Lipe spots, judging from all the other boats and tourists on the various little islands we stopped near. But the water was clear and we got to see a good variety of fish and do a bit of shoreline exploration at a couple of places. Had a simple boxed lunch on a beach – and meals really do taste better after a morning of snorkeling while sitting on the beach… I think our trip could have been just as easily (and frankly, more conveniently and competently) been arranged through our hotel. My advice would be to give Paradise Tours a pass.

Other than the snorkel trip, we spent a very leisurely four days on Koh Lipe. I was certainly sad to head back to the mainland on Sunday – but this being my fourth trip to Thailand, I was really looking forward to getting to Bangkok. As much as I enjoy exploring new parts of the country, there is certainly something to be said for getting back to a city that feels a bit like home to me now.