Month: April 2010

And when you’re gone, he might regret it…

I did sort of enjoy the “Madonna” episode of Glee last week – though I still just cannot get into the show itself.  For a show that is, at its heart, a musical, the singing should be a lot better (and a lot less AutoTuned) than it is…  Nevertheless, watching it put me in Madge mood this week and I’ve been revisiting her catalogue.  So many memories…  And while Vogue will always remain my favorite, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the time-tested delight of Express Yourself – both the song and the video.  And – who knew? – this video remains the third most expensive music video ever made…  behind #2 Die Another Day (WTF? Did they spend all that money on Kaballa water?) and #1 Scream (meh) by Jacko and Janet.

So, come on girls – do you believe in love? ‘Cause I got somethin’ to say about it…  And it goes somethin’ like this…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Cancer is no laughing matter… Well, not always…

Apparently, Australia has decreed that cigarette packaging must now consist solely of the brand-name and a graphic depiction of cancer-riddled lungs. No more fancy crests, groovy camels or sexy logos – just cancer!  Personally, I always wonder if this type of packaging change actually makes any difference – don’t consumers just become inured to the image after having to look at it constantly?  And it wouldn’t stop me from buying them.  I’m well aware intellectually of the fact that they are deadly – but they are so very delicious!  Plus, I got dumped not so long ago!  I get  a free pass to engage in semi-socially-acceptable forms of self-destruction for at least a few more months…

At any rate, one commenter, whose father was a doctor, used to tell his younger female patients that smoking was yellowing their teeth, giving them wrinkles and basically making them age prematurely (which is true!).  And the following comment from allzay was posted in response:

This is exactly why I’m wearing the Patch. I don’t need to start hagging it up any earlier than necessary. Whereas cancer, that is years from now! Who cares?

from Gawker

Just when I think I’ve seen it all…

Saw a guy in the locker room at the Y (natch).  He was nude, save for a dress shirt (and I should point out that wearing only a shirt and nothing else is always way pervier than strutting around nude), perched on one of the communal stools (with full-contact between the seat and his twig-and-berries, taint and b-hole), one foot on the floor, the other perched on the edge of the seat – so he could clip his toenails…

Trying to decide whether this was more or less bizarre than the time I saw a guy in front of the sinks in the locker room coloring his hair – complete with plastic gloves and easy-application tube of shoe-polish brown (Miss Clairol No. 47, I think…)

Also, I will never, ever, ever understand the members at the Y who wait for the interminably slow elevator, only to ride up one floor to the workout floor and then climb onto the StairMaster… “Unclear on the concept” doesn’t even begin to describe it…

Christ-on-his-throne – what the hell is wrong with people?

Just kill me now…

If only there were an assortment of shoddily made products that could make my life easier!

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Photo Tip of the Day

I haven’t been doing much in the way of photography lately – though maybe when I’m in Palm Springs in a couple of weeks?  Who knows…

At any rate, though, the following before-and-after is a very useful demonstration of how the appropriate use of flash can really improve the quality of a photograph.

My snark-free post for the month…

Lance Blair lost part of his leg when his motorcycle was hit by a truck.  He was 18 and managed to make a rather amazing recovery, outfitted with a prosthetic leg.  Today, he’s running “Disabled Explorers” and just completed creating the WAVE – “Wheelchair Accessible Van for Expeditions” – giving people in wheelchairs the opportunity to do some serious wilderness exploration…  The group also does quite a bit of work with veterans who’ve lost limbs in Iraq and Afghanistan, taking them out to the desert for a few days to help them see what they can still do…

Take a read of this post on Gizmodo.  Quite interesting. And, as for Lance, I can only say “awesome” – a word I seldom use, but seems entirely apropos here. Also, sounds like throwing a couple of bucks to Disabled Explorers would be  money well-spent…  I’m getting out my checkbook…

Disabled Explorers In the World’s Most Badass Short Bus

I want this sort of romance in my life…

I’m continuing in the vein of re-posting funny stuff I find on other blogs.  There’s just not much going in my life right now that is appropriate fodder for blogging – I mean, pretty much the only thing of interest is a bevy of first dates – a subject I will not be sharing via this public forum, thank you very much…  Though most of them have gone well, save for last night’s snooze-fest with a low-talker…

So, today my friend pointed me to this blog – and this gal (and apparently her entire family) is a laugh-riot.  Two of my favorites below…

from Eject (Thanks, Corinna!)

Bridal Jeans – they are a site!

I’m trying to think up something clever to say – but I’m frankly at a loss for words…  especially given the asking price.  So, I’ll just cheat and steal one of the comments from the original post on Regretsy:

I guess rich people need these, for when their houses flood with champagne.

And, seriously, be sure to click through to the original post so you can read the comments.  They are hy-larious.

Thanks, Priya!

Girrrrrl…

I’ve watched several episodes of Glee and I just can’t seem to get into it.  Very odd, considering my love of musical theater, my still-fondly-remembered days singing in the high school choir and my raging homosexuality…  But despite all that, the show just leaves me cold.  I think I find most of the singing to be too “American Idol” in style, i.e. focused more on the vocal acrobatics and vibrato rather than simply singing with skill.

At any rate, the cast made an appearance on Oprah the other day.  And they found a real-live show choir to perform on the show.  And those bitches performed “Vogue” – in goddamn court dress, complete with wigs, make-up, fans and moves lifted straight from Madge.  This is exactly the kind of shit that gives me hope for this country…  Keep on voguin’, you young whipper-snappers!

Yes, I’m complaining about the Y again…

OK, I’m actually complaining about the patrons…  To wit:

  • The lady who was sitting in the middle of the highly-populated stretching area whilst reading a novel.  And, no, she was not stretching – just kicking back and gettin’ her read on.  I did my best to get my sweaty fumes wafting in her direction…
  • The guy who repeatedly spent ten minutes hunched over his Blackberry in front of the penny-lockers, constantly checking his what were sure-to-have-been very important text messages – presumably along the lines of “I’m working out – what about you?”  This was annoying in-and-of-itself – but he was also blocking my access to my preferred corner for stretching my scrawny arms….
  • The dude in the locker adjacent to mine, who required three stools and a four-foot radius to spread out his various towels, gym clothes, salves and unguents, while I daintily tried to squeeze past to doff my gear.
  • The pièce de résistance: the dread-locked fellow who emerged shiny and dripping from the steam room and then parked himself in the passage to the showers and vigorously and repeatedly whipped his head forward and back, spraying all and sundry (including yours truly) with the effluvia from his grimy braids.  Seriously, my gag reflex got quite the workout – I should’ve just puked on him.  Oh, he was also directly in front of the towel hooks, so all the poor saps who’d hung their towels whilst showering were treated to an unwitting rub down with his tonsorial essences.

I will never understand people…

I need to start dating NOW!

Hmmm…  I guess this is what lies ahead for me if I don’t manage to ensnare meet a mate soon.  Though I do take some solace in the fact that my decomposing corpse will provide a delicious (and, I hope, nutritious) meal for my cat while he’s cooped up in the apartment with me after I shuffle off this mortal coil…

“Lonely Deaths” Rise Among Unemployed, Elderly

La Pelicula Misteriosa

I’ve been going to Pancho’s for years – their tacos are excellent, thanks in large part to the homemade tortillas and salsas. But every time I visit, I see this poster on the wall and for the life of me I cannot fathom what this movie might be about…

CIMG0069

Let’s see: zombie archer, drunken olde-tyme train engineer, Crawford-esque blonde bombshell lookin’ all sexy behind a bullseye, bushy-browed lothario. Honestly, I have no idea how these characters could even be in the same film… But I’m kinda dying to see it…

As I walked home, I passed this chiropractor’s office… And I can’t figure out if this is a chiropractor named Mike Le… Or if it’s a guy named Mike who is fancy and prefers to think of himself as un chiropraticien français. Though it does prove again that everything seems classier en français.

CIMG0071

I can’t stop lovin’ this man…

Yes, I keep apologizing for posting nothing but videos…  It feels so lazy…  But my life has been rather unrelentingly dull lately… OK, maybe not dull, just sort of same-ol’-same-ol’  (well, save for the date I went on last night – but I’m not writing about that…  TMI, in my view…  Frankly, I’d sooner post about my regularity – which I was frankly tempted to do a few days ago when I came to the conclusion that even extremely modest consumption of beer may disagree with me from an intestinal perspective…  Meaning I may have to revisit my current Friday and Saturday evening bar-ordering protocols… But I digress… )

At any rate, I cannot resist anything Johnny Weir – I so ♥ him…  And this clip is fabulous!

Vodpod videos no longer available.